Change in circumstance

[gene]

I have always paid child support and I paid for private schools when I did not have to.  My daughter is going to University of Delaware when she could have gone to a NY State University and spent about 1/3.  I remarried and I have four children ages 14 to 5.  My children will not be able to go to private high schools and they will go to state universities in their state.  My wife is currently working on her master's degree, works as a substitue teacher and has multiple sclerosis.

My ex married a pharmacist, lives on Long Island and has two boys ages 11 & 8.  She does not have a college degree and does not work.  About two years ago she brought me to court claiming that if she got her child support late it caused her a financial hardship.  Again I have never missed a month!  I think the real issue was she wanted me to pay more for college.  In the end it was agreed I would mail the child support by certified mail and I would pay 60% of the college tuition and room & board.

I did have a lawyer but I think he was more interested in a quick solution and getting paid.  I have making less money and this is becoming a hardship on my family.  First, I pay a monthly child support but no money goes to my daughter.  I thought that child support was for the feeding and clothing of the child.  Can I get it changed so that I don't get stuck for child support and for a meal plan?
Second, when the original settlement was made over 14 years ago my health insurance was paid for by the company.  Now I contribute a sizeable amount of money.  My ex demand half of the 10 co-pay.  Since I pay for my health insurance shouldn't she pick up the co-pay?

Finally, my wife has a chronic illness and yet she is trying to work.  Why isn't my ex wife made to contribute?  My wife is going back to work because my ex won't financially support her child.  As I mentioned before I am paying in addition to child support $15,000 a year, $60,000 by the time she graduates.  Frankly I can't afford that and I can't afford another lawyer that will not look out for the best interest of my family.  Can anyone give me advice on how to proceed and if I can do this w/o a lawyer?
Thanks!
Gene

[jimmy eaches]

sure you can do it yourself. all you have to do is to file a motion through the state to reduce your child support. this is actually called a downward deviation and with good circumstances, sometimes things can change. remember, you will never know unless you try. dont let her put your family in the hole, fight for your rights as a father and stand your ground. make her accountable for her actions and she aslo should be showing proof of income also. i hope this helps. join me at myspace.com/mddadsdeserverights

[gene]

You said she should show income.  She shows income through her pharmacist husband because she has not worked for at least eleven years.

[jimmy eaches]

i dont remember her new husband as being part of the deal. and if they do, then child support should be lower.