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ANCPR - Fathers Rights - Custody - Child Support - Forum
December 01, 2008, 02:50:40 pm GMT+5 *
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swturner
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« on: May 12, 2008, 03:07:12 pm GMT+5 »

I live in MD. I have a child by a woman in PA. Recently the State took custody of my child aand 3 other children from this woman. I cannot provide a stable home for this child. What do I do to see to it that the child is made available for adoption by someone who can give her what she needs?
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hadenough40
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« Reply #1 on: May 13, 2008, 07:37:50 am GMT+5 »

Have the courts ruled that you cannot provide a stable home?  What is it that makes you think you can't provide a stable home? 

Maybe answers to those questions will help us a little more. 

If the answers lean more towards a FEAR of being a bad parent...well...none of us will EVER know if we were good parents...it's all subjective.  I feel I was a good parent, but on any given day my daughter might tell you otherwise.  I feel my husband is a good parent, but on any given day his ex-wife WILL tell you otherwise and his kids MAY tell you otherwise.

Unfortunately this site is more geared to fathers who WANT to be in their childrens lives and are fighting to be acknowledged as PARENTS.  Most have lost it all during a divorce, so stability went out the window but they are still fighting. 

Because of the above, you more than likely are not going to get the answers you are looking for on this site.
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x-olympian
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« Reply #2 on: May 13, 2008, 09:20:17 pm GMT+5 »

I can sympathize with your situation, I had a brother lose a child to the state and it was painful.  But If you really do not think you can take care of the child long term, I think it is an unselfish move to give the child up for adoption under the right circumstance.  At least the child may have a chance to be cared for and even maybe have a life.

 However, I would be the one to make sure the adoption happens and would keep the child until adoption.  You can get some assistance and provide help in the search for the right parent. Please do not drop and run. If she/he is young enough adoption will be fairly easy.  Start with a level-heading loving family member and go to the court with a caseworker. 

 I have seen the other side of this when older children go to the state, my family has taking in and raised 5 or so kids from as young as 7.  We could have made a better impact on the kids only if the parents would have let go earlier instead of dragging the children through their own dis-functionality. 

Finally I am not advocating you do anything but really think about what the right decision would be, and if you absolute must give up do it with love and for her future not because it is very difficult right now. 

You must know that here, many men would die to have a chance take their children and go off in the sunset, the reality for many of us is that we have lived with so much inequality that we see situation like this we cannot imagine why someone would even think twice.  I imagine it but then I come back to reality and fight. 

I hope you get this message sincerely








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stsrob
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« Reply #3 on: May 13, 2008, 09:50:06 pm GMT+5 »

I am trying to empathize,But i just can not fathom giving my son up for anything.And would love to hear more on why SWTURNER can not take the children.

Another thing how can one have a computer,Internet access,Electricity to run said things,etc.And not be able to take care of children?Are they doing this from public library's?I would sell blood,body parts whatever it took to be with the child i brought into this world!

Got to know the rest of this please!
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