Custodial Mom Wants Phone Calls During My Parenting Time

[hadenough40]

Right now we have letters and e-mails out the wazzoo from the CP and the teachers.  We have not asked yet about teachers testifying or being our witness, but...

My youngest stepson's teacher from last year will more than likely be willing.  Homework had nothing to do with why this teacher was put off with mom and the stepfather who introduced himself as dad.

My oldest stepson's teacher from 2 years ago will more than likely be willing also. 

The goal here has always been to get the kids working.  As long as the teachers were willing to work with him, my husand has never done more than work with THEM.  So at the moment the current teachers will not be asked.  If this continues to spiral out of control, he will ask them if they'd be willing to go to court.

But....

My stepdaughters teacher from this current year definitely has a bug up her ass about CP.  Most recently the CP sent a note chastising her for issuing a project during spring break.  Turns out the project was issued two weeks before spring break and only needs to be put together before 3/31.  This is the same teacher that was told that the change in babysitter schedule is what is causing my stepdaughter no to complete homework.

Unfortunately if she doesn't kiss up to CP, this is the "re-assignment" that WILL happen this year.  A request has already been sent to the school that if any request for re-assignment is made, my husband is to be notified before any decisions are made.

[LaraZhivago]

Hi Papa!  Thanks for referring me to the forum!

Hey, it sounds like we are once again dealing with the same person!  LOL  Weird.

Our CP used to do the same thing.  It was very frustrating, even though we pretty much always ignored her calls.  She would call often later in the evening on Saturday night, usually we were in the middle of a movie or something, and the last thing we'd want to do is pause it so she could (most frequently) cause some drama with the kids, who were not at all missing her.  She said she just had to talk to her kids every day, because she was an "active parent."  (Sound familiar?)

Side note:  another annoying thing she did... she went to Walmart portrait studios and had very cheesy pics taken of herself with each of the kids, put them in cheap frames, and sent them over with the kids.  THEN, a few weeks later, she INSISTED on coming inside to see our place, she wrote ahead and made a very big deal about it... afterwards she emailed dad saying the KIDS were very upset because we did not put her picture out, they had looked for them (lie) and couldn't find them (another lie) and accused us of throwing them away (again, lie).  It honestly made me feel sorry (for about two seconds) for this woman who could not let her kids away for two days without calling and having pictures to remind them of the mommy they didn't want to go back to.  Talk about insecure.

Anyhoo.  The calls.  They finally stopped after she sought legal counsel, who provided her with a copy of the Oregon state parenting plan guidelines, and told her she needed to abide by them or could stand to lose part/all of her custody.  The Oregon parenting plan says no CP calls during NCP visits. (It also states CP must allow 15 minutes uninterrupted phone time with the kids each week and dinners every Tuesday.)

Do you have a parenting plan in your custody arrangement?  (Do you have a custody arrangement yet?) If not, does your state or county have guidelines? You might start by finding out what they are, then sharing them with the CP.  It's not from her adversary (aka - you) but it's all governmentally and officially, so maybe she'll pay more attention to it. 

If it's not in your custody arrangement, perhaps you can file an amendment?  I would ask your attorney.

If it is in your custody agreement.... I have only recently found out every time the parenting agreement is frustrated by the other party, the frustrated party can file contempt against the frustrator.  If the frustrator does not stop, eventually they can have part/all custody removed.  (I'm sure this is the reason why OUR CP IMMEDIATELY started following ALL ASPECTS of the parenting plan...!!!) 

If it's not in your agreement and you don't modify it, but it is a state or local guideline, I would think if she violated the guideline regularly it might be grounds for re-evaluating custody with the courts. 

We're still playing in this circus tent, and we've still got a ways to go ourselves.  I wish someone had told us what I just told you six months ago, things might be a little easier for us.

Good luck!  You are awesome.   

[Brandy Fee]

I don't know about where you live, but here in Indiana, one parent can not interfere with phone calls to or from the other parent.  Indiana has a set "minimum" of parenting time (visitation), and other "rules" parents are supposed to abide by.  One is phone calls.  I would look into your visitation guidelines, if you have any set by your state, and make sure that it's not in the fine print anywhere... if it's not, more power to you.  Personally, I think it is wrong for the CP to call during the NCP's precious time, the CP has them all the time, no reason to interfere when the NCP has them... unfortunately, Indiana isn't so generous with Parenting time...

Good luck to you and I hope things work out for you, keep us posted on what goes on!

[Papa]

Hi Brandy Fee,

Everyone here knows, of course, that best case scenario is always working out whatever issue there is directly with the other parent... it's just that that's often difficult to accomplish .... in the case of the phone calls, I could have put my foot firmly down and denied it; but, what I did was nicely say, "Okay, call on this day at this time."

And, it's worked out fine so far. Mommy calls one time during the three day visit, and, she talks for a few minutes. Our daughter a lot of times isn't too much for phone calls, so, it's a brief thing, and, then it's over, and, that's it ...........