The problem is that it is often the offending parent… the one who really wants to hurt the other, who can change everything by just a few carefully worded statements that invoke the domestic violence statutes. Once you have run afoul of that, you are screwed. It is an unholy situation brought about by some really man hating people over the last 25 years.
Fathers today spend more time than ever with their kids, experiencing just as much stress as women in balancing work and family, if not more. But when couples divorce and a custody dispute hits the courts, too many judges award custody to mom, according fathers’ rights groups.
Ned Holstein, head of the National Parents Organization, formerly called Fathers and Families, says research shows that children do better academically and emotionally when they see a lot of each parent.
“We believe family courts are actively hurting kids,” by not awarding joint custody more often, says Holstein. The best legislation, he says, favors joint custody, so long as both parents are fit and there’s been no domestic violence.
via Push to change custody laws: What’s best for kids? | 89.3 KPCC.
This is up in Canada. The only problem is the proviso that is always present “absent abuse”. There is no question that abuse is intolerable. However it is unfortunate that allegations of abuse sky rocket when it becomes evident that child support received will be affected by a shared parenting order. This has become a real problem everywhere.
The people for whom this issue matters most — people whose lives have been negatively impacted by the current iniquitous system — are united and organized. The Equal Parenting Coalition (EPC) is now an international social movement focused on averting the tragedies that result for children when a parent is legally disenfranchised from his or her children’s lives.
I say “his or her,” but in reality, the iniquities of the system overwhelmingly target fathers. What are most fathers asking for? According to the EPC, the clearly stated primary goal would appear to be equal physical parenting. Advocacy in the equal parenting movement has moved well beyond fathers’ rights groups, and is now a broad-based coalition of both mothers and fathers. More and more women realize that excluding fathers from their children’s lives is unethical and psychologically counter-productive for everyone involved. Fathers want more input than just offering suggestions that their ex-wives can ignore. They want to truly share in parenting, including all its responsibilities
Indeed, the current president of the Canadian Equal Parenting Council is a woman. Kris Titus took up the EP cause when she saw how much her children suffered from the absence of their father after their divorce. She became an activist in the family law reform movement when she actually had to fight with a judge to change his award of sole custody to shared parenting, a move that benefited everyone in her family.
via Give fathers their rights back.
“Japan is an important partner and friend of the U.S., but on this issue, our points of view differ,” the U.S. Embassy in Tokyo said Tuesday. “Our two nations approach divorce and child-rearing differently. Parental child abduction is not considered a crime in Japan.”
This is a subject that really tears things up. I am personally and philosophically against the government getting involved any further than simply providing a reasonable method by which honest, fairly created civil contracts between adults relative to family matters can be enforced. But when you support the government making parental abduction a crime, then you, in a very real sense, give over ownership of your children to the government. Who ever has been granted physical custody, is really just a custodian of the government’s property.
via American jailed in Japan for trying to reclaim his children – CNN.com.
IMAGINE IT being argued that citizens be denied the right to go where they please because the freedom to travel also benefits hijackers and terrorists! Would anyone give a moment’s thought to abolishing the liberties of the vast majority on the basis that a few wicked people will inevitably benefit from these freedoms? Anyone stupid enough to make such a proposal would be laughed into oblivion, writes JOHN WATERS
I always hate that people have to add such phrases as “except in cases of severe abuse…” or whatever, in order to qualify the demands for equal access. This is nonsense, but it shows how effective the campaign to label all fathers as potential batterers. This has happened because there has been, and continues to grow, a flourishing industry of professionals in the domestic violence cabal. These same people have managed to pretty much make a mockery of any notion of justice in family courts, pretty much world wide.
via Unmarried fathers just want equality – The Irish Times – Fri, Sep 11, 2009.
Richard Thomas had sole custody of his two teenage sons for two years until the day in 2007 when they visited their mother and never returned.
Today, Thomas’ sons are in foster care while he fights to regain custody. His battle began when his boys were visiting their mother and she decided to drop them off at a police station with instructions to say they had run away from home. The police believed their story and contacted the Department of Children and Family Services, Thomas said.
What is wrong in all this business, is that a father has to prove his worth to meddling bureaucrats. There should be an assumption of fitness. The burden of proof should always lie with the person making an accusation of unfitness. But investigating parents, just to be sure, is wrong. This suspiciousness leads to a very unfriendly atmosphere and eventually will lead to the destruction of the nuclear family. I believe there is a growing body of people in the U.S. who think that this is a good thing.
via Vigil promotes shared parent visitation rights :: The SouthtownStar :: News.
Rather than the term “angry” men, one could depict fathers as frustrated with the lack of progress on issues related to fatherhood and the raising of their children. Parents will often take lesser roles to spend time with their children. Parents take hiatuses from work to spend more time with their kids. So why, when you get separated or divorced, does one go from a parent to a “visitor,” especially if you are a dad? One should not.
The writer of this opinion piece has some really good points. The opposition to shared parenting is really fierce from the Trial Lawyers, domestic violence advocates, women’s advocates and the like. Everybody says dads should be part of a child’s life, but all that means to these people is that he lay down and have his wallet bled dry while being fine with being less and less a part of his children’s lives.
via YOUR VIEW: Fathers legitimately frustrated, not ‘angry’ | SouthCoastToday.com.
Does the Kaczmarek-Whitford divorce indicate an important cultural shift?
Former “Malcolm in the Middle” star Jane Kaczmarek has blasted rumors she’s fighting for full custody of her kids with her estranged husband, former “West Wing” actor Bradley Whitford.
Commentator and Fathers Rights Advocate, Glenn Sacks, may be right here. There may very well be reluctance now on the part of some mothers to go for sole custody because of stigma, but I’m not so sure. The system is still primarily an adversarial one, and the least thing will trip up the best of intentions.
via Does This Celebrity Divorce Indicate an Important Cultural Shift? :: Glenn Sacks on MND.