Received this from Stephen Baskerville:
Does the National Fatherhood Initiative “Get It Right on Fatherhood”?
The National Fatherhood Initiative held a “media event” yesterday at the National Press Club in Washington and released a survey called “Pop’s Culture: A National Survey on Dads’ Attitudes on Fathering.” A panel discussion followed with representatives from the media:
To its credit, NFI departed from the familiar themes about “good fathering” and “responsible fatherhood” and moved the discussion to the more contentious area of negative depictions of fathers in the media. After an hour, as the discussion was on the verge of becoming repetitious, panelist Stephen Perrine of Best Life, a magazine targeted at men, startlingly shifted the discussion by declaring that primary responsibility for the fatherhood crisis lay not with fathers nor with the media but with “the government.” He specifically criticized divorce courts for arbitrarily separating children from fit and loving fathers and challenged the myth that the crisis is caused by fathers “abandoning” their children.
Since the shift to audience questions was long overdue, I piped in at this point and asked about the “media blackout” on the problem of why loving and committed fathers who have not “abandoned” their children can be arrested for trying to see them, arrested for inability to pay extortionate child support, and arrested for mere allegations of domestic violence when not a shred of evidence is produced. I also asked why we have seen no media investigations of the courts in which this scandal is taking place. Soon after, David Levy of the Children’s Rights Council, pointed out that the District of Columbia in fact already has shared parenting (in the law, if not practice) giving both parents equality in custody arrangements.
A father sitting to my right immediately informed me that everything I had mentioned had just happened to him and handed me a moving account of his efforts to reunite with his daughters. Another told me that the question was long overdue.
What is the moral of this event? Change the subject! We must be bold and not afraid to speak up at every opportunity. We have no right to criticize NFI for not bringing up these topics if we fear to do so. They are helping us by holding such events; it is our duty to take advantage of the opportunity. For too long we have sat in silence as others frame the terms of debate and set the agenda. We must take the initiative. We can be polite, but still firm and forceful. We have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Stephen Baskerville
120 responses so far ↓
1 Kevin Merck // Dec 8, 2006 at 7:12 pm
It is a powerful tendency for people to want to convey a politically correct attitude when talking about the issues. It’s a very uncomfortable feeling to be subjected to a browbeating by unsympathetic feminists and their supporters, especially when they are so pervasive throughout society. Anyone that dare challenge the status quo better stand ready to face vicious ridicule from accusatory feminists. They don’t appreciate anyone trying to rock the boat when it comes to their “perceived entitlementsâ€.
In my opinion, the most glaring inconsistency in the fathers’ rights movement is the tendency to claim that a good father is one that pays the extortion demanded by the corrupt courts, when we all should know full well that he “should not†pay. No one is doing the right thing by paying the extortion. It’s the payment of child support that keeps children away from their fathers. It’s the payment of child support that perpetuates this extortion racket. Sooner or later, the fathers’ rights movement is going to have to acknowledge this “undeniable truthâ€.
We can’t have it both ways Gentlemen. If the system is so screwed up, corrupt, unconstitutional and just plain wrong, then how in the hell can anyone justify paying these criminals their extortion. We are certainly not helping the children; all we are doing is insuring that they will be the next victims.
The number one cause of fatherless children is not the courts, government, media or feminists for that matter, the number one cause is the payment of the so-called “child support†by fathers that should know better.
I like Stephan Baskerville. I think he is a truly “good man†and I hope he will help lead us out of this national crisis. I think that at some point in the next couple years he needs to rally support for all non-custodial parents to stop paying this unlawful extortion that is the reason why so many children are without a father in their lives.
Kevin Merck
2 Foxfeather67 // Dec 12, 2006 at 4:02 pm
While I am not opposed to paying my fair share of support, I feel that there are situations where the father paying the sole support does not apply. In my case, the children were awarded to the court. Mom is not raising them, yet the court felt no need to assign support to her. Under California State Law, each parent has an obligation to pay support, yet this fact is so often ignored.
It is my hope that Stephan will consider this fact as he does his best to help out all of us non-custodial parents. Equal parent rights should also demand equal obligations under the law, and those laws need to be enforced where they are applicable. The burden must never be entirely on one parent alone.
Kent Whittington
Rancho Cordova, CA
3 Kevin Merck // Dec 12, 2006 at 7:08 pm
I just wanted to add; I think what Baskerville is saying in this message is don’t be afraid to challenge the status quo. Don’t be afraid to talk about the injustice that fathers are enduring in the Family Courts.
I think it is just as important for us to take a good look at our own perspective on the issues. This injustice has been going on for many years now and it’s not getting any better.
{“Stephen Perrine of Best Life, a magazine targeted at men, startlingly shifted the discussion by declaring that primary responsibility for the fatherhood crisis lay not with fathers nor with the media but with “the government.†He specifically criticized divorce courts for arbitrarily separating children from fit and loving fathers and challenged the myth that the crisis is caused by fathers “abandoning†their children.â€}
It’s easy to blame the “government†for our problems; but, as long as it’s the government’s fault, or the court’s fault, or as a result of feminist persecution, then “we†don’t have the power to change it because “someone else†is causing it. On the other hand, if we accept responsibility, then … “we†… have the power to change it.
If we have the courage to do the right thing, if we can find the courage to stop paying no matter what it takes, by the grace of God, good things will happen.
Merry Christmas
Kevin Merck
4 Charles Fockaert // Dec 17, 2006 at 6:28 pm
Stephen Baskerville having to even question the media about their blackout regarding the nightmare of illegal action against fathers is evidence that the problem we fathers (and our families) are facing is much much larger in scope than most of us realize. Our entire Western culture - our very existence - is under attack. [Unchecked illegal immigration is more evidence]. The situation fathers face is only one battlefront - albeit a major one - in this war against Western society.
We need to move beyond asking why questions to understanding what has been and is happening to us. The mainstream media within Western societies are under control of the same entity that controls our legal systems and in fact our entire govermental system. [Here read Walt and Mearsheimer]. Expecting change from this controlling influence is like expecting the Devil to stop lying. It’s not going to happen. Those of us in Western culture need to recognize that fact - now. We need to stop expecting the powers that be to change. They will no more change their destructive course of action anymore than Bush will change his course of action in Iraq. They are getting exactly what they want from their actions. Until we realize this, we fathers are pissin’ in the ocean against the wind expecting to raise the level and make fools of ourselves.
5 Kevin Merck // Dec 19, 2006 at 11:09 am
Charles:
I think you make some excellent points. We need to understand that morally bankrupt people who kidnap our children for profit are not the people we should be addressing about this injustice, the people we need to address are the only people who can have an impact, and that is non-custodial parents. In the words of a Founding Father, “It’s the madness of folly to expect mercy from those who’ve refused to do justiceâ€.
Fathers need to accept full responsibility for the extent to which the situation in our courts and government has deteriorated. We need to spend our time reaching out to non-custodial parents, not writing letters to unsympathetic criminals who are all profiting from, and actively orchestrating this slave trade.
It’s a huge and daunting task. It makes me think of the overwhelming odds our Founders faced. I have faith that we will triumph as they did, but not without the help of God, and God helps those who have the courage to help themselves.
We know the race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong. Do you not think an Angel rides in the whirlwind and directs this storm?
John Page, letter to Thomas Jefferson, July 20, 1776
6 Charles Fockaert // Dec 20, 2006 at 9:31 pm
Yes Kevin, it is us dads who have been separated from our children and denied our God granted unalienable right to life that will need to rebel. What is a life without our children? - our children are our life. Liberty - how free are we when our government can take our children from us for no reason other than our wive’s have been deceived by feminism and then seek to break their life long contract - and when they do - are aided and abetted by the very courts that are established to enforce legally binding contracts? And pursuit of happiness - how are us dads - divorced from our children expected to pursue happiness without the companionship of our children? The perpetrators of these gross injustices - to our children and us fathers - and eventually even to the ex-wives - could care less about any of us.
According to Jefferson, our nation’s remedy, like a complete engine overhaul, is needed every 20 years. Dads, revolution is way overdue.
“The oppressed should rebel, and they will continue to rebel and raise disturbance until their civil rights are fully restored to them and all partial distinctions, exclusions and incapacitations are removed.” –Thomas Jefferson: Notes on Religion, 1776. Papers 1:548
For any who cares to read more, please see Deadbeat Dad the true account of my and my family’s raping by the US legal system available at http://www.lulu.com/content/315711
7 Kevin Merck // Dec 21, 2006 at 10:12 am
“No free man shall ever be de-barred the use of arms. The strongest reason for the people to retain their right to keep and bear arms is as a last resort to protect themselves against tyranny in government.”
Thomas Jefferson
Have we reached the point of last resort? I don’t think so. Seems to me the first order of business is to disobey the corrupt courts and legislator who demand this unlawful extortion and then demand that our children be released from their control. Then we can go about the business of making “damn sure†that this can never happen to future generations. We need to make people who hold public office understand that the last thing anyone in government will ever try again, is to mess with our children, or our constitutional rights as United States Citizens.
“When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is libertyâ€.
Thomas Jefferson
I don’t think it will come to “armed struggleâ€. If just half of the twenty or twenty-five million non-custodial parents would temporarily quit their jobs and refuse to pay this “unlawful extortionâ€, this nightmare would be over in very short order. When George Bush won the election back in 2000, the country experienced a loss of only two million jobs and the economy went into a tailspin. The loss of ten or twelve million jobs would get the attention of virtually every American. The government would be in “panic mode†desperately trying to resolve this issue.
Back in the times of Thomas Jefferson it would have been much easier to organize people for this type of action. I think people were a lot more “civic minded†in those days and they didn’t have to contend with millions of nonsensical feminists. Anyway, we can’t let that dissuade us. No matter how hard it may seem to get the necessary people on the same page, it still has to be done, and it’s absolutely the right thing to do. Nowadays, it’s “money†that gets the attention of the beloved “American Peopleâ€, and reaching into their pocketbook may be the only thing that will rouse them from their “comatose stateâ€.
What’s plain to me is that we have the power to change this, what it will take is the courage to do the right thing, and when people do the right thing, God is behind them 100%.
There are twenty to twenty-five million victims of this extortion racket. I’m sure there are just as many heart-wrenching stories to go along with that number. We don’t have the time or the capacity to listen to them all. If you are a victim of this government persecution, we all know what you’ve been through; it’s time for you to act. If you are paying the extortion guised as “child support†then find a way to stop.
Merry Christmas
Kevin Merck
8 Charles Fockaert // Dec 21, 2006 at 5:02 pm
Don’t advocate violence. That would be counterproductive - at this point.
I haven’t paid child support since the fall of 1996. Why should I finance the destruction of my family? In my opinion, too many dads have the ‘dad guilt’ complex, that if they don’t pay child support it somehow reflects on their good character. In fact, the exact opposite is true. Refuse to pay child support and insist that your children live with you and the mother be the visitor.
There are too few books that detail the problem we face. We need to read and then distribute a written documentary of what we men face, what we went and go through, so that others get a clear picture of our family’s battle. You are correct in saying that too few of us have the capacity but we lack the capacity for a purpose - we dads have been emasculated while those more diabolical then we can imagine have bound us and then spoiled our house.
I have acted. It took six long painful years to detail my exhaustive struggle.
And then, because I was damn near destitute, another two years to get it published, because no mainstream publisher wants this ‘powerful story that needs to be told’ out. It’s not us fathers that need to hear the story, it’s the unmarried men and still married men that need to be informed. And our children need to be able to discover what happened to their dads who are no longer involved in their lives. That is where Deadbeat Dad comes in. I primarliy wrote this book so my [our] children and those not yet affect but will soon be will know what happened and what is happening.
“No man can enter into a strong man’s house, and spoil his goods, except he will first bind the strong man; and then he will spoil his house.”
Mark 3:27
Merry Christmas? This will be the eighth w/o my children.
Charles Fockaert
9 Charles Fockaert // Dec 21, 2006 at 5:27 pm
Kevin,
Looks like it’s just you and me at the moment so I’m responding to your excellent post a bit further.
“Seems to me the first order of business is to disobey the corrupt courts and legislator who demand this unlawful extortion and then demand that our children be released from their control.”
Agreed. Okay, exactly how?
“Then we can go about the business of making “damn sure†that this can never happen to future generations. We need to make people who hold public office understand that the last thing anyone in government will ever try again, is to mess with our children, or our constitutional rights as United States Citizens.”
Agreed. Exactly how?
“What’s plain to me is that we have the power to change this, what it will take is the courage to do the right thing, and when people do the right thing, God is behind them 100%.”
Couldn’t agree more. The last paragraph in Deadbeat Dad reads,
“Thomas Jefferson said that every generation needs a new revolution. The revolution for our generation is long over-due. And as to not to be falsely accused of advocating violence, what is needed is a peaceful civil disobedience driven revolution aimed at preventing the abuses against families that are now commonplace in the Western world. The unalienable rights we have lost are granted to us by our Creator. Only through His guidance and power, if we assert our rights and do our duty, can we regain those rights. To that end I pray continually.”
“No matter how hard it may seem to get the necessary people on the same page, it still has to be done, and it’s absolutely the right thing to do.”
Agreed. Now, how do you and I, for starters, get on the same page?
my email is deadbeatcharles@yahoo.com and my new blog is Deadbeat-Charles.blogspot.com
I’m looking forward to hearing from you Kevin as we are all in this together.
Charles Fockaert
10 Kevin Merck // Dec 21, 2006 at 10:24 pm
Charles:
I didn’t intend for that last comment to be directed solely at you, that’s why I didn’t use your name. It was intended more as a general statement of my viewpoint. However, I did go to lulu and saw that you were selling a book. Nothing wrong with that, just that there are a lot of people out there who are trying to capitalize on the misfortunes of others, I’m sure you understand. If you are not merely one of these “cockroachesâ€, then I’m sure no apology is necessary.
I stand by my belief that dwelling on personal circumstances is a waste of time and very counterproductive. In my opinion, we need to rise above our personal circumstances and focus our attention on what will bring a speedy end to this injustice for everyone. If that isn’t your point of view, I’m not offended by that.
Glad to see you don’t pay the extortion. You sound like a good man that stands his ground for the right reasons. As for the answers to the specific questions you asked, I think the answers are there if you take another look at what I said. It starts by refusing to pay. All we have to do is convince about another ten million non-custodial parents to do the same. Here is a link to one possible solution to the problem. I just heard that some people are having success obtaining this information. Who knows, maybe you could interest some of these people in your book; there are literally millions of them out there just waiting to be contacted.
http://www.indianacrc.org/FOIA.html
I think we are on the same page Charles. Maybe I’ll check out your book someday. Right now, I think the last thing I could stand, would be to listen to another heartbreaking tail of injustice that is happening to so many. You’re not alone Charles, there are - literally millions - of them out there.
Merry Christmas
Kevin Merck
11 mac1199 // Dec 21, 2006 at 11:03 pm
I hope I’m wrong, but I truly don’t think we can beat a system that generates billions of dollars to the people that run this country and who are they? Lawyers, become judges and politicians. they have the finacial backing and the ability to make the people of this country believe Fathers are scum and should have no rights other than to provide for the children through the old wallet. Please show me other than one in a million getting through the system. Is there anything being done? I haven’t seen anything yet but a few marches. The press is hush hush on the subject now and why is that? I just got a bill for over $13,000 for a child I was done paying for 4 years ago, but she decided to go back to school after working full time for 4 years. DOR had told me there is nothing I can do about it and so didn’t my attorney in some ways. He told me they (DOR) are a collection mechanism. and rule the roost. not many lawyers will fight them? What the hell is wrong with this so-called justice system? Please tell me what we can do? I
12 Charles Fockaert // Dec 22, 2006 at 12:09 am
Again, my email is deadbeatcharles@yahoo.com. I’ll be glad to talk to anyone.
I have been to http://www.indianacrc.org/FOIA.html and downloaded the FOIA forms etc. I’ll do what I can.
By buying Deadbeat Dad you’re supporting someone who is trying to make an effort in this fight. Don’t buy it for yourself, give it to someone else, some single male or a married couple, after you read it of course. I didn’t write DBD for the money. I will no doubt never get back the hundreds of thousands of dollars our family lost. Or our family business. And I certainly won’t get back the eight years I’ve been w/o my children and they will never get back the eight years they most needed their dad.
But I may be able to warn others about losing their chilren and their children’s inheritance. We need to support each other in any way we can.
Expecting lawyers and politicians to change the system is like expecting foxes to protect chickens. Not going to happen. Ever. Get over it. We are going to have to rebel.
Men can’t refuse to pay child support when it is garnished from their wages. First file a motion with the court to get custody of your kids.
Go on the record as wanting and demanding your children. Then we have to convince employers to stop garnishing wages. Hand the employer Deadbeat Dad. Wait until he reads it, and then ask him to stop garnishing your wages. He is not going to want to because he will be penalized if he does. We have to convince employers to help us. Big corporations won’t easily go along with this approach. We can work on them next. But the small family owned businesses is a good place to start.
13 Charles Fockaert // Dec 22, 2006 at 12:14 am
Kevin,
I looked at your site again. Which reminded me of the fact that a few years ago I participated in a class action lawsuit in my state, filing all the required papers and doing evderything necessary as requested. What came of it?
Nothing. Never got a follow through. Never heard about what happened.
14 Charles Fockaert // Dec 22, 2006 at 12:29 am
I got this from your site:
“However, suing a city or a town or a COUNTY for damages ($$) is well established in this country, and can easily be done. In fact, it is done all the time - even almost every day, somewhere in this country. Moreover, cities and towns and counties do not have any immunity to being sued, which blows away the very notion of dismissing a federal lawsuit for immunity..”
I beg to differ. Counties are not immune from being sued, but judges are not going to rule in dads’ favor because it would break the counties financially and break up the lucrative divorce industry.
How do I know this? I did just that, sued my local district attorney and the County in Federal District Court of San Francisco. And guess what, the judge ruled that the county officials, and the county, had immmunity for what they did. I also appealed my divorce ruling to the California State Appeals Court and lost.
Once again, in my opinion, going this route, ie. working within the system, based upon my experience, is going to be a long dead-end road unless someone knows something I don’t.
Now, suing the county and then having thousands of dads stand outside the courthous drawing attention to what these judges and other officials are doing, will work. I name names and detail exactly what these crooks did and do all the time.
The federal bankruptcy judge who heard my case said this in open court:
“I have never, in the 12 years I’ve been on the bench, given back a man his business over the objection of his ex-wife.”
And guess what? He was reappointed two years later to another 14 year term. Rewarded for a job well done.
I don’t think we realize what we are up against.
15 Kevin Merck // Dec 22, 2006 at 8:35 am
Mac:
Try to get involved. If you’re a “law-abiding†citizen, then refuse to pay the extortion. If you prefer to live the life of a “deadbeatâ€, and piss on the graves of all the men who died for your freedom, then be a good boy and pay the extortion. I’m sure that’s not exactly what you wanted to hear, but it’s the way I see it.
There are things you can do and this website will help you find a way to stop cooperating with your own destruction. There are a lot of ways to get involved. Join ACFC and do what you can to support their efforts. We don’t all see eye to eye on what will get the job done, but maybe it will take a combination of efforts. If you want to see change, the only thing I recommend you don’t do, is nothing.
Merry Christmas
Charles:
Merry Christmas
16 Charles Fockaert // Dec 22, 2006 at 4:37 pm
Kevin,
I do think you are correct in that it will “take a combination of efforts.” And we certainly need not be squabbling among ourselves.
In what ways have the efforts we read about on your website been successful?
I will start on the FOIA requests as suggested, but I’m not sure what contacting these men will accomplish. What do we do next? And what if, like my experience shows, we get no results by working within the system? What do we do then?
You say stop paying the extortion. That’s fine, but what if a dad’s pay is garnished? What does he do? Or his income tax return is confiscated?
Doesn’t there need to be some other device other than ’stop paying the extortion?’ What does the dad do when he stops paying child support, is labeled a deadbeat and then incarcerated for contempt of court?
We are living with a boken system. Trying to fix it is like trying to remodel a house with a bad foundation. I agree with you wholedeartedly, we need to get on the same page.
my email again is deadbeatcharles@yahoo.com
I won’t be having a Merry Christmas because it will be w/o my children for the eigtht straight year, but thanks anyway.
17 Kevin Merck // Dec 22, 2006 at 7:17 pm
{I do think you are correct in that it will “take a combination of efforts.†And we certainly need not be squabbling among ourselves.}
Thank you.
{In what ways have the efforts we read about on your website been successful?}
It’s not my website. I suggest you contact the people who run the website. They should be able to answer your questions.
(I will start on the FOIA requests as suggested, but I’m not sure what contacting these men will accomplish. What do we do next? And what if, like my experience shows, we get no results by working within the system? What do we do then?}
No one can be sure exactly where any action will ultimately take them. I suggest crossing each bridge as you come to it. This is not working within the system. You will be dealing directly with the victims of this extortion racket. I think voter registration should be a primary focus. We need to vote people into office at every level who support our cause.
{You say stop paying the extortion. That’s fine, but what if a dad’s pay is garnished? What does he do? Or his income tax return is confiscated?}
I realize that everyone will not jump at the chance to stop paying the extortion. In my case, I immediately quit my job and refused to pay starting in 1995. Over the years I’ve endured garnishment periodically in order to keep my head above water. What’s an income tax return?
I think the focus should be to assist people who are inclined not to pay in being able to accomplish that. There is some good advice on the ANCPR website. I think we should focus on organizing people for a “D- Day†so that at some point in the future we can make a coordinated effort to “pull the pin†on paying the extortion. At some point we have to take the profit out of this extortion racket.
{Doesn’t there need to be some other device other than ’stop paying the extortion?’ What does the dad do when he stops paying child support, is labeled a deadbeat and then incarcerated for contempt of court?}
We need to destroy the myth of the “deadbeat dadâ€.
Incarceration of people that refuse to pay is reserved for the people they can conveniently make an example of. There is no way on “Gods Green Earth†they can begin to incarcerate all the people who refuse to pay. There is enough prison space in America to house two million prisoners and that space is filled to capacity. There are 422,000 people who refuse to pay in the state of Michigan alone. I think we should do our best to be realistic about the incarceration threat. It is a “threat†used by the criminals orchestrating this injustice to cow people that don’t use their heads.
{We are living with a boken system. Trying to fix it is like trying to remodel a house with a bad foundation. I agree with you wholedeartedly, we need to get on the same page.}
I disagree. I think we have perhaps the best foundation that has ever been conceived by mankind. We need to hold the people responsible for this treason accountable. This is definitely one baby we won’t throw out with the bathwater.
my email again is deadbeatcharles@yahoo.com
I won’t be having a Merry Christmas because it will be w/o my children for the eigtht straight year, but thanks anyway.
Best Wishes
Kevin Merck
18 Charles Fockaert // Dec 22, 2006 at 8:44 pm
Things we appear to agree on:
1. Whoever can, should stop paying child support no matter the consequences. It seems many of us have, although perhaps for various reasons, myself personally from a combo of refusing and inability.
2. Use more than one means. We disagree somewhat on the means however. I’ve exhausted my finances and my energy working within the system. But I will continue trying this route until some other method becomes obvious to more of the oppressed blue pill takers (many of which are not non-custodial dads) and they take the red pill.
3. We agree on a “D-Day.” Getting enough to participate will be the problem. IMO, in the past, the call to travel somewhere away from home was a mistake. It should perhaps be at the courthouse within the dad’s county. No excuse to not make it to your own courthouse, we’ve all been there many times. But EVERY dad has to show up, and supporting family members, for the peaceful demonstration, not just a few. And stay until we get the results we seek, just like the hundreds of thousand Lebonese who stood outside their government buildings demanding change. “They turned the square into a sea of red.”
4. “Destroying the myth of the deadbeat dad.” That’s another reason I invested hundreds of hours writing, editing, re-writing and finally publishing Deadbeat Dad. It is a tool that can be used to destroy this myth.
Things we disagree on:
1. Not enough room in US jails. The US imprisons more people than any other country on earth, bar none - not even China - with three to four times the population. Halliburton is building more ‘detention centers’ for possible future ‘programs.’ Anyone involved in this battle should avoid but expect imprisonment.
2. The foundation of the United States is close to if not already beyond repair. Judges don’t obey the law. Law enforcement doesn’t enforce ‘visitiation’ orders. Malicious mothers are not held in contempt of court. The president has called the US Constitution just a ‘goddamned piece of paper.’ We have lost the right of habeas corpus, our government is torturing unconvicted and oteehrwise innocent people with approval from the top, our children our systematically taken from their fathers without recourse or redress of grievances, money we dads don’t have or should not have to pay is then extracted/extorted from us under the real threat of the lost of professional licenses - the right to work - and the threat of the loss of the ‘privilege to drive a vehcle- the right to travel - and even incarceration. We are labeled with the epithet deadbeats, which is akin to a racial slur. The list goes on and on. I explain this in Deadbeat Dad. “What do the righteous do when the foundations be destroyed?” is now the question.
Americans did have the best foundation concieved by man. But our generation - those born after about 1950 - has failed in being vigilant to keep it and that foundation is being lost right before our eyes. And we and our children and their children (if they have children) are going to pay a dear price for our negligence and failure to guard and demand our God given unalianable rights.
Another thing I think we all can agree on - us dads are in this together and only by working together - with God’s help - are we going to beat our enemy.
19 Kevin Merck // Dec 22, 2006 at 10:18 pm
Mac:
I hope I didn’t offend you with the above comment. It’s one of those comments I’ve made that I wish I had said differently after I posted it.
Get involved buddy, it’s the only way anything will ever change.
Charles:
I hear you bro. We don’t all have to agree on everything, let’s just “get er doneâ€. Try to have a nice Christmas you guys.
Take Care
20 Kevin Merck // Dec 24, 2006 at 10:18 am
I think this issue also needs to be addressed:
If it is just a question of not being able to afford the extortion demanded, and not a moral objection to the practice of denying men the equal protection of our laws, or a moral objection to fathers being denied their God given right to an equal role in their child’s life, then you don’t have my sympathy. If your only objection to this injustice is that the price you are being forced to pay is too high, then as far as I’m concerned you can go take out a loan to pay the extortion demanded, you don’t have my sympathy or respect.
Kevin Merck
“If you love wealth greater than liberty, the tranquility of servitude greater than the animating contest for freedom, go home and leave us in peace. We seek not your council, nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hands that feed you; and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.”
Samuel Adams
21 paula.blanco // Dec 26, 2006 at 7:42 am
It is unfortunate that we only talk about fighting back on our corrupt and unjust system. Fathers like my husband have to pay the consequences of leaving their kid’s mothers only to walk into a world of forever supporting the “ex”. Because that is what it is. Do you seriously think that one or two children exhaust 700 or 800 dollars or what ever you pay a month?? Unless that child has special needs like medication or rehabilitation I doubt that they will.
22 Charles Fockaert // Dec 26, 2006 at 3:27 pm
Take heart Paula, some of us are doing what we can. John Murtari, while jailed for refusing to pay child support in New York, refused to take food and water in protest. And many people showed up in support. “A rally was held in front of the Onondaga County Courthouse yesterday on the International Day of Demonstration for John Murtari and Equal Parenting. Demonstrators came from as far away as Canada, and from all over New York.” See http://tinyurl.com/tvswc.
23 Kevin Merck // Dec 26, 2006 at 6:45 pm
Paula:
I think each of us needs to look past our own circumstances. What your husband is being asked to do is unfair. Asking a father to be a visitor to his children when he wants joint custody is also unfair. Asking a mother to be a visitor to her children when she wants joint custody is also unfair. Asking a man to accept being forced into fatherhood when women have several choices is also unfair. All of these people who are being treated unfairly can ban together to change these unfair practices for everyone concerned. If these people do not act together, then each group will be exploited separately, which is what is happening right now. If we can all just look past what will change things for “me†and focus on what will change things for “us†we can change things for everyone involved.
If any of the above groups of people only care about what can change things for their particular group then they don’t have my sympathy or respect. I think we need to act as a group or we will all pay our individual prices.
Kevin Merck
“We must all hang together or we shall certainly hang separatelyâ€.
Ben Franklin
24 mac1199 // Dec 26, 2006 at 10:46 pm
Hi Kevin and fellow unfairly treated Dads and Moms, I tried to click this link only to have a 404 file not found, seems pretty funny how news like that was taken off the net so quickly. Does the press work with the courts and DOR (Department of Retards) on keeping this hush hush? I become sick everytime I see another father being screwed. I have a wife of 10 years and a 7 year old now that suffers from the child support being stolen from my check weekly. I continue to work 60 hours a week to make ends meet and my little girl suffers, but yet I’m very much involved with her daily, I will continue to speak to everyone and you have my promise on that about the unjust laws in this country towards the Fathers. I raised my other 2 daughters and was still forced to pay child support to a woman that was never around for them. The best thing is I have those 2 other daughters by my side and fight for me even now that they are 21 and 22 years old. I have recently received and order to pay child support for 2 children that turned 18 over 4 years ago. I have my ex’s sister by my side on this battle as well, she hates her and knows what a a complete thief she is , we go back to court in March, and words of advice?
25 Charles Fockaert // Dec 26, 2006 at 11:49 pm
Try here:
http://mensnewsdaily.com/2006/08/10/john-murtari-receives-feeding-tube-continues-passive-resistance-for-civil-rights-and-equal-parenting/
26 Charles Fockaert // Dec 27, 2006 at 2:20 am
Kevin’s right, we need to move past our own situations. But we also need to agree on what to do.
Our famillies are systematically being destroyed. In the process, the system is taking our money. One way to fight back is stop giving them our money. That includes child support. Demand custody of your children, and settle for no less than equal shared custody. Both parents are required to support their children equally thus, with equal custody, no child support. Go on the record demanding legal sole custody with the wife as the non-custodial parent. You most likely will not get it, but it’s on the record. You can always then refer to that fact when you refuse to pay their extortion.
Also and first and foremost, don’t retain an attorney. When you do, you’re feeding the system. Attorneys are a big part of the problem. They win, ie. get your money, whether you win or lose, and you will most likely lose. At least if you don’t hire an attorney, you won’t lose your money along with your children.
It’s not that difficult to go into the courtroom prepared. There is enough information available now for anyone with average intelligence to act in their own behalf. It’s called in propia persona - in your own person. Consider it an adventure, like an extreme sport. It’s actually quite fun. If we all did that, the attorneys would not get our money. If they get your money, they win, you lose. Don’t give them your money. I explain this and much more in Deadbeat Dad here: http://www.lulu.com/content/315711.
The attorney’s aren’t going to go all out for you anyway, they risk offending the judges. When was the last time you heard of a divorce attorney appealing a case in the best interest of his client? They won’t risk challenging the judge, as they will most likely have to represent their next client before that same judge the next day and can’t risk pissin’ the judges off.
Besides, the judge and your attorney and maybe your ex-wife’s attorney quite likely play golf together.
27 Charles Fockaert // Dec 27, 2006 at 2:34 am
Sorry, I left an r off of in propria persona. Also known as pro per. Another term is pro se, as in pro se litigant. Very common today. Attorneys like the rest of us to think that representing oneself on the other side of the “bar’ is mysterious and complicated. It’s not. They also like us to think only a fool represents himself. Not true. Only a fool would go into a courtoom with an attorney who is really not looking out for his or his children’s best interests.
Now, before I get attacked for my views on attorneys, let me make it clear that there are a few good attorneys out there. If you think you have one, ask him to work on your behalf and not take his pay until you get what you want - ie. sole custody, or at the minimum, shared custody with no child support. If he declines, then, guess what? He doesn’t have your best interests at heart or fears/knows he won’t get paid because you won’t get what you want.
Don’t give the attorneys your money. Save it for your children and yourself. Trust me - you’re going to need it.
28 mac1199 // Dec 27, 2006 at 10:11 am
Will these child support issues be put to a people vote? I don’t think so at this point in time, but eventualy it might and then we can almost guarantee the laws would change. Everyone and I mean everyone I have spoken to know that the Fathers are getting a raw deal and it would change real fast. The only people for it are the courts and the mothers receiving child support. My ex is a Registered nurse in MA making over 100,000 a year I make 26,000 as an EMT, well her new husband and she are living a very nice life they live alone with no kids around of course I was footed the bill for their college and she bought a new cabin cruiser for her and her husband to have fun with on ,the nice ocean front property the own I have called courts lawyers and DOR themselves. I even had a Department of Rectums..LOL customer service rep tell me that there was not a thing I could do about it, they give those kids a lot of power huh? he couldn’t have been more than 22 years old. I told him one day he will be looking for work, because your part of a system that is stealing money everyday and the people of this country will open thier eyes to it soon and close it for good. He said he could guarantee that would never change. they must be training these fools to think they have job security ripping us off, and to think I put my butt on the line in Operation Desert Storm for this kid and to have him tell me to shut up during this conversation. The government teachings in respect are as usual limited. The more I have read in the web, I have a feeling this can’t last too much longer, too many people are taking notice and or are getting the shaft. Forget the lawyers is damn right they would never have it changed. It seems that the women judges are taken the sides of men more than the men themselves is that true? What is your take on this?
29 Kevin Merck // Dec 27, 2006 at 11:22 am
Hello Mac:
I’m glad you are looking for answers to this problem rather than just going along with the program. I’m glad that you have the support of the children you’ve already raised and the support of ex’s sister. I hope you will be able to have them testify on your behalf in court and that that testimony will carry weight with the judge. The only reason the testimony wouldn’t have an impact is because the court’s primary interest is the payment of “child support†and not the “best interests of childrenâ€.
I’m glad you’ve made the decision to get involved.
I’d try not to be too discouraged if things go badly in court. You are up against a huge industry designed around taking your hard earned money by force in the so-called “best interests of childrenâ€. These people are nothing more than “common criminals†who extort money from their fellow citizens. I think the most important thing you can take away from this experience is that realization. Raise your children to understand this corruption and to do their best to change things for the better.
I think one of the worst things you can do is hire a criminal who is part of this corruption to represent you in court. Unfortunately, most of us have to learn that the hard way. If you feel comfortable with your representation in court, then give it a shot, but don’t be overly disappointed if things go bad. I know it’s hard for a guy who works sixty hours a week in order to support his family, to even entertain the notion of preparing a case in his own defense, against a court full of vicious predators, all professionally trained to exploit you for every dime. Basically, you don’t stand a chance in court, and any “honest lawyer†will tell you that. They will still take your money if you want them to, but at least they will warn you that you’re just throwing it away.
Here is a link that might help you get a better understanding of why you don’t want an “attorneyâ€.
http://familyrightsassociation.com/info/law/diy/why_you_dont_want_an_attorney.htm
I think our salvation lies outside the courtroom. I think it lies in civil disobedience, and through the political process; register to vote and find out who the candidates are who support our cause and vote for change. I think the leadership of the fathers’ rights movement is beginning to realize just how powerful a voting block of twenty to twenty five million can be, especially in a country where recent elections have been decided by just a few votes.
Kevin
30 Charles Fockaert // Dec 27, 2006 at 2:35 pm
Hello Mac,
I feel for you buddy. My first piece of of advice is don’t hire an attorney. If you already have, let him go and get a refund of the unused retainer. Why? because it’s only and ALL ABOUT THE MONEY. YOUR MONEY.
Take how much the attorney will charge and divide it by how much you earn per hour. That is how many hours you will have to work to pay to get what will most likely be injustice. My guess is the attorney charges more per hour than you make. Yes? Then, because you are working 60 hours a week to make ends meet, if you have to take time off work to learn how to go into court, you’ll know how much you are paying your self to defend your rights. You can always hire a good para-legal to help you at less money per hour than an attorney.
What ever you do, don’t give the attorneys YOUR MONEY.
31 Kevin Merck // Dec 27, 2006 at 9:18 pm
If I was looking for help in court, I think I’d give this women a call.
I am a freelance paralegal working on marketing my name & business to help fathers. I am recently married to a man who is in the middle of experiencing custody “battle†issues. After living 3 years going through it with him, I got a taste for society’s opinion on fathers and men in general. I decided to do something about it and join the legal profession to hopefully make a change and Advocate for fathers everywhere I can. I offer low cost legal services such as assistance with understanding laws & rights in their areas of residence, filling out the necessary paperwork, filing as a Certified Legal Document Preparer, notary etc., for those that may not be able to afford an attorney and are “Representing Themselves†in this country’s frightening legal system. I do this because I know the way every court treats these fathers and I don’t want them to feel alone, or helpless.
What society is doing to our family structure system, and the changes that have been made to our views on “how things are supposed to beâ€, is disgusting, unfair, immoral & wrong. Our founding fathers, ancestors, and children would be ashamed of what has become of the role of the Father today.
Anti-male rules, regulations, etc, are what fathers and men in general must succumb to now-a-days. Most children today will never know what the original definition of ‘Father’, ‘Head of House Hold’, and Patriarch means. Society and Women’s Rights groups are teaching our children, and brainwashing our adults, into quickly pushing “The Man†out of the picture and out of the position which he has held since the beginning of time: Head of the Family. Man is also being pushed out of a position of holding authority on what he does with his children and also important, what he does with HIS OWN LIFE.
The American Judicial System was initially set up with the “good intention†of helping citizens, for as we all know, humans are subject to error & imperfection. However the accomplishments of Family Law Courts and the Judges that preside over them today include:
-Breaking down the family structure and disarming the patriarch.
-Taking it upon themselves to encourage women/mothers to consider themselves a ‘victim’ and prejudicially assuming that the children are always better off with the mother, which is not always the case.
-Granting Custody to the mother immediately upon being presented with a petition to avoid an ongoing trial where the courts’ own moral and fairness must be present.
Today is a day and age created to over empower women/mothers to the point of NO equality for men/fathers. Everywhere one turns is another ad, article or hotline to save women from “The binds that man & society has burdened them withâ€. If one dares to start an organization to help men/fathers, they are instantly labeled as an immoral person who is considered incentive to what women/mothers have been put through, and to their general value and accomplishments thus far in society.
Men/Fathers should not have to feel that they are a criminal. More importantly men/fathers should not be made a criminal by way of trying to be a father or by trying to gain some sort of custody of their children.
Family law centers, courthouses, Judiciary personnel including Commissioners, need to leave the politics out of the court room and remember they were appointed and sitting where they are to decide the FATE of children. Entering into judgments regarding them without thought or consideration destroys lives of everyone involved.
- Christin L. Oldewurtel, Paralegal
Advocate for Non Custodial Parents Rights
http://advocatingfordads.spaces.msn.com
I am not currently charging rates for my services. Instead I offer those who are in need of justice the opportunity to donate the amount they feel appropriate. Literally no minimum. I’m not crazy, I happen to care about what happens to these dads and want then to see me as an advocate. I feel that by working this way, I will receive as much help as possible in fighting “The Beastâ€. I TRULY am an advocate for the cause I believe in. Your help for my help is much appreciated to help assist me in research, court fees and for my time etc. Your donation can be sent to my office address below:
Advocating for Dads
c/o Christin L. Oldewurtel
17420 W. Mandalay Lane #D5
Surprise, AZ. 85388
623-474-3852 Mon.-Fri. 9:00am-6:00pm
Should you choose to utilize my help, contact my email address to get started immidiatly. I can’t wait to help!!
32 mac1199 // Dec 28, 2006 at 11:45 pm
Dear Kevin and Charles,
Thank you for your wisdom. I have read more about the Fatherhood Coalition in the confused state of Massachusetts and with so many fathers out there fighting for our rights. I wonder how can the people of this country especially men, can let this kind of injustice happen? We need a million man march on washington and get the big boys and girls there to help our cause. Is it because too many are scared? I would drive there no doubt to participate. I talk and talk and continue to let everyone I know about this and continue to follow up on as much information as possible. How about some good books on the subject? I see quite a few online, but which are the best in your honest opinion. I see how many lives have been taken because of such injustice and yet the courts and our government let it continue. It sickens me more and more. I think too many people wait around for things to take care of themselves and like that is going to happen? I think not. I have written emails to the Supreme court judges in my state asking them to be humane and put themselves in the peoples shoes for once. I guess they are too busy plotting their next move to our destruction, so they can continue to enjoy the fat salaries they live on ,that we the people supply them. They sicken me to no end, but the more educated I become the more I want to fight. Together we can and will win this war eventually. Thanks again for pointing the way as it was this web site that opened my eyes. I continue to read here everyday.
33 Charles Fockaert // Dec 29, 2006 at 1:26 am
Yes, Mac, what to do? You seem to be doing what you can by telling others what you’re learning and what is happening. The judges aren’t going to help us, they are part of the problem. The sooner more of us realize this the better. I found that out in 1995-97. Though it damn near drove me to commit suicide, I finished [b][i]Deadbeat Dad.[/][/b] [Going to find out if htmal works here] You can find it here: http://www.lulu.com/content/315711 Perhaps you’ll find it a useful tool to understand more of what we families face, what we are capable of, and use it to warm others with. There is a downloadable copy available.
“No man can enter into a strong man’s house, and spoil his goods, except he will first bind the strong man; and then he will spoil his house.” Mark 3:27
We fathers are getiing bound. What’s happening is not happenstance. It’s been planned. Our houses are being spoiled and our culture is being ravished. It’s like our camp has been overtaken and we are stumbling around in the dark wondering what’s happening.
Check in with my blog http://deadbeat-charles@blogspot.com if you like. I’m trying hard to keep it updated and informative and hope to add some tools for representing oneself in court as I believe one weapon we have is to not give the attorneys our money.
We have to stop expecting some ‘leader’ to emerge from somewhere and lead us to victory. Each of us has to be a leader and do what we can where we are with what we have. And take someone along to the next protest, or the next trial of a dad who is about to lose his kids. Flood the courtrooms with complaining dads. Support other dads. I repeat, support other dads.
It’s tough when so many of us have been made damn near destitute. Even Al Gore recognized this, when he said there alot of ‘deadbroke dads’ too. But that is why we have been driven to this point of near destitution - we have a more difficult time fighting back. So don’t expect mercy from these crooks, it’s not forthcoming from these criminals. Looking to the mainstream media or the courts or the attorneys or someone else is foolishness. and a waste of time.
But truth and what is right is on our side. We can win if we are willing to pay the cost of being in the fight.
We men have let this happen to our families. We have to be the ones to make it right. Just thinking of what my generation is leaving - what I am leaving - to our children makes me angry - with myself. I let this happen.
I aim to do what I can about it. Those involved with ANCPR is doing what they can. We all need to do what we can.
34 Kevin Merck // Dec 29, 2006 at 12:57 pm
Mac:
I think you ask some good questions. I will try to address, “how can people, especially men, allow this kind of injustice to continueâ€.
That’s a good question. I think it’s not so much that people are allowing it to happen as much as the fact that many of them simply are not aware of what is really happening.
Many are in fact refusing to cooperate, (422,000 in the state of Michigan alone) but these people are being vilified by the corrupt system. These people are being labeled “deadbeats†for their refusal to cooperate, but are in fact just everyday people who have simply had enough. These people live in constant fear of being incarcerated for their refusal to meet the unrealistic demands of this “domestic enemyâ€. When people live in constant fear of prison, they are not going to have a “million man marchâ€. They fear showing their faces in public because they are “deathly afraid of their own governmentâ€, which is evident by the fact that so few people who do speak out, will even use their real names for fear of reprisal. Some would argue that these people can’t afford to pay. If that were the case, when the state of Michigan recently sponsored an amnesty program to allow people to work out a payment plan that would suit their situation, they were flooded with – 19 – requests to participate in the program. 19 out of 422,000!!! That should tell any “reasonable person†that these people in fact refuse to pay. They refuse to cooperate with these criminals and that does a lot to restore my faith in the American People.
Women were able to organize for their so-called “liberation†because no one was trying to take their freedom away. The most they had to worry about was a night in jail, not years of incarceration for owing a “purported debtâ€. These women were supported by their husbands, children, parents and boyfriends. These women had the support of a large percentage of the population. The opposite is true in our case because of the years of propaganda against men and fathers by the now feminist controlled prejudicial news media and legal system. The very same people we were so eager to help “liberate†are now trying to enslave us.
Fear is the most powerful weapon in the arsenal of any oppressor. We should all do our best to be realistic about the “threat†of incarceration and recognize it for what it truly is; a tactic used by the corrupt system to cow us into submission. There is simply “no way†they can even begin to incarcerate all the people who refuse to pay and anyone who tries to tell you that is not being realistic.
Many of the efforts in the fathers’ rights movement to this point have been to write letters and seek the support of many of the criminals who are orchestrating this injustice. I’ve participated in this activity myself and will probably continue to do so with a realistic understanding that not much will come of trying to win the hearts and minds of these criminals.
The only people it really makes sense to try to influence are the victims of this extortion racket. We need to reach out to the victims in large numbers. We need to organize these people to vote for change and to refuse to cooperate as much as possible.
Here is a link to a website that has a great idea on how to reach out to these people. Some people want to question the “credibility†of the people, who had this idea, rather than to try and make a good idea work. It’s a monumental task, no doubt, but I think it has great potential. We should enter all the obtained information into a data base that can be used to organize these victims.
http://www.indianacrc.org/FOIA.html
The way I see it we’ve got less than two years to get this on the nation’s agenda. Two years is a very short time to get this going. Anyone not ready or able to stop paying this extortion should make obtaining this information a priority. If we do get the support of republicans to organize these people, then at least we will have a head start. If we don’t get this ball rolling, we risk making this a generational issue that will be passed on to our children. We don’t live a thousand years and our children don’t have hundred year childhoods. This injustice needs to be rectified now.
This is just the way I see it. I don’t claim to have all the answers and I’m very skeptical of anyone that thinks they do. This is just what makes sense to me. If we want change, the only thing we can’t really afford to do, is nothing. Maybe there is more I could be doing to bring about change, it’s a question I ask myself on a daily basis. I prey for Gods help and do the best I can. For me the number one priority is to take the profit out of this extortion racket. If that’s not what you feel you can do then find another avenue. Everyday that goes by means more broken homes, more disfranchised/dead fathers and more children being raised in single mother households that put our future at risk.
Kevin Merck
35 Charles Fockaert // Dec 29, 2006 at 1:38 pm
Mac,
Looks like you’re doing what you can and informing others and encouraging their involvment is important. I plan to contact as many dads as I can through the web site Kevin has posted.
You asked for more info. I’ve re-started my blog http://deadbeat-charles.blogspot.com where I intend to post relevant tactics to combat this attack on not only our families but our culture as well.
I also, although it darn near drove me to suicide, recently finished Deadbeat Dad available here: http://www.lulu.com/content/315711
which not only details how a foster dad, a Court Appointed Special Advocate for neglected and abused chidlren was separated from his adopted children, denied a State appeal, lost a court battle against false allegations and also had his right to federal bankruptcy protection denied, but what we can do about what is happening to us. May I suggest it be used as a tool to convince others, inlcuding wives contemplating divorce, about the pitfalls of depending on the government instead of their familys - their husbands? Our government, throught feminism, is laying a trap that too many women are falling for - divorce instead of committment to their familys. We need to stop this. Now. Our entire culture is at stake.
Men down through time have always had battles to fight, to struggle to survive. Our generation, post WWII, has been fortunate because we had it so well for a time. But that time is up, has been for quite a while actually. Time for our generation to do battle, and win, for the next generation, our children’s generation. With God’s grace, we can do it.
36 mac1199 // Dec 29, 2006 at 10:07 pm
Hello Kevin,
I have news concerning my case. I was told that both my wife and I have signed a child support agreement in 1995 to stop DOR from witholding my checks weekly and that she and I would be working together without the aide of the DOR, therefore my child support obligation has herby ended and arrears set to $0. What this means I think and maybe you can help me understand this more, is they were taking money out my checks weekly for over 11 years and they were not supposed to? The DOR agent and my case manager explained that once that was signed and gone into effect in this state the DOR had overlooked this document in the past and were supposed to stop the retaining of my wages then, and now It looks like I have a fight on my hands for money owed me. I’m hoping this is correct as I understood this and God willing a small victory for at least 1 of us. Now if this is true and yes I’m extremely skeptical that it is. What do I do from here? I’m actually in shock here and can’t believe this happened still, I’m thinking they will try to dig some trick up and tell me I still owe money. I’m looking at this paper and wondering?
37 Kevin Merck // Dec 30, 2006 at 10:23 am
Mac:
Congratulations, I’m happy for you. I don’t know the best way to advise you on this Mac. I guess it all depends on your level of commitment to come to a satisfactory conclusion that you can live with. If it’s just about the money they stole from you then you may want to speak to the paralegal mentioned above or an “honest lawyer†you can trust.
If it’s about the dignity they have stripped you of for the last 11 years then the solution may be quite a bit more difficult. You seem to be someone who cares about his children. Maybe you want to think about a course of action that will keep them from falling victim to these predators.
Hopefully it’s a combination of the two, in that you are able to get the money back, and play a role in protecting your children from future predators. You might be successful in attracting the media to a story like yours. What do you have to lose? No matter what you decide to do, I wish you luck.
Take Care.
Kevin Merck
38 mac1199 // Dec 30, 2006 at 8:36 pm
Hello Kevin,
I was thinking of talking to the media and making them aware and more people in this country of the cruelty played upon us fathers. I’m still skeptical, but where to go from here I don’t know? I will always be a father to my children as I have been since the day they were born, but I have suffered greatly especially my dignity and my new wife and daughter financially. The money would be nice, but I know they will not give that up without a fight and by the time I finished with some blood sucking lawyer it would be gone. The paralegal sounds great if they were willing to take this case on, either way I know this is not over by a longshot, my ex will more than likely call to dispute this and fight it out, because she is so greedy. I know one thing now, in the court this paper serves as proof and a great weapon to the cause of the incompotence in the system. If they continue to fight me on this I will make a serious case in the media and more than likely a lawsuit for negligence on thier part. This case is a mess, but thanks for your words of wisdom and I will keep you posted.
39 Charles Fockaert // Jan 1, 2007 at 6:30 pm
Mac,
I’ve been responding but my replies are not being posted. If this one is and you wish to discuss your situation more, email me at deadbeatcharles@yahoo.com
40 fastscott // Jan 2, 2007 at 10:25 am
I have been reading all the posts here. I have come to the opinion that there certainly is a lot of talk, and quotes from our founding fathers, but very little action. Bradley is unconstitutional and many efforts have been put forth to repeal it–it will not happen by writing letters. The courts are corrupt, they will not change by writing letters to newspapers or your congressmen. Talk to young men convince them not to join the armed forces to fighrt for a country that will treat them as less than second class citizens if they ever become fathers. And, do as I am doing, sell all your personal belongings, quit your job, have no source of traceable income. Do not pay unlawfull child support (the courts and the laws are corrupt and draconian-therefore they are unlawfull). Then wait for the police to put you in jail. Once they have to start building jails for all us deadbeat dads then the laws may start to change. I’m 56 years old and if I wait for the rest of you to act-I’ll be long dead from rotting in jail and my children will still never know their father. But, if you want to join me my email is fastscott@ricochet .com. I will be on line until they put me in jail.
41 Charles Fockaert // Jan 2, 2007 at 8:38 pm
Bravo fastscotts. Bravo. I too refused to pay and made it impossible for the money grabbers to collect. I too am in my mid fifties now and the family law system took away my successful business and left me basically destitute but still expected ‘child support.’ What do I do for my future years? All my retirement savings and plans are long gone. And, ironically, my now fatherless children are struggling because their government assisted in the break-up of a good family and beat damn-near-dead a providing caring father.
Letter writing and all these political inaction is no more than throwing pebbles at a battleship. Not going change a darn thing.
There are things that we dads can do individually and I can be reached at deadbeatcharles@yahoo.com.
42 Kevin Merck // Jan 2, 2007 at 11:20 pm
I think it’s kind of tough to convince a young man from a small town or an economically depressed inner city ghetto not to join the military because fathers are getting screwed in court. The military may be the only way out for someone with few alternatives.
Maybe we’d be better off teaching them about the Constitution. Feminists have gone to great length to discredit the founders in order to undermine the Constitution. I remember in grade school more than one of my female teachers saying, “the Founding Fathers were just a bunch of rich slave owners who didn’t want to pay their taxesâ€. That’s the one that sticks in my head the most. I heard this repeated just a couple of years ago on the internet; it must be a long running feminist mantra.
PBS had a program, not long ago, about the founders. I didn’t watch it, but I saw some of the trailers. It portrayed the founders as a bunch of eccentric drunks who would all be on Prozac in today’s world. I think it just shows how pitiful feminists are that they want to viciously attack the people responsible for the umbrella of liberty that allows them to even make a distorted program like that. I know quoting the founders gets under peoples’ skin. It’s mostly because they’ve been “brainwashed†by feminists.
The Constitution didn’t count women or slaves as equals, but it provided the foundation for that to happen. Our children don’t learn enough about the foundation of our Republic and it’s not by accident. If we’d adhere to the “principles for which it standsâ€, we wouldn’t be in the fix we’re in. Maybe we don’t quote the founders enough. Maybe we just need to teach our children a lot more about the Constitution.
The Constitution is not just a “horse and buggy documentâ€, which means nothing in our modern culture. It’s the “law of the land†and any public servant who doesn’t uphold the Constitution is guilty of treason. We need to make sure they’re held accountable.
Kevin Merck
“In questions of power then, let no more be heard of confidence in man, but bind him down from mischief by the chains of the Constitution.”
Thomas Jefferson
43 fastscott // Jan 3, 2007 at 12:52 am
Kevin, I beleive in the constitution. But, I no longer beleive that our government beleives in it. Lets be realistic, If congress wants to create a law that whittles away at the constitution they can and will and you have little recourse but to live with it. It is much easier and takes less time for them to pass a law wich usurps the constitution than for the populous or the voters, or the citizens or what ever we are now (sheep in the flock), Then for the flock to to repeal the unjust laws. Case in point the Bradley ammendment. We have lived with it for over ten years and each congress says they are going to do something about it and still nothing has been done. We as deadbeat dads created by unjust and corrupt courts and laws are a dirty little speck on the floor to be continually swept under the rugs of congressmens offices. They know we are here but they do not care. The industry of family courts, lawyers, child custody evaluators, and government agencies devoted to collecting child support will not let Bradley be repealed. Too many people are making money off the insanity that the family courts and family laws create. If just 10 or 15% of the men who find themselves victims of this corrupt process refused to pay and let it be known that they are refusing in civil protest, the jails would be overflowing and then something might get done. And when I say let it be known, I mean that it should be shouted from the rooftops all day long. I mean that when you go before that judge do not present any other defense than that. Just say I refuse to pay because it is a corrupt and constitutionally unjust and that you are exercising your CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT to protest. Of course you will go to jail if you do that. I used to be proud to be a man, but these days I am starting to wish I had been born a woman. Then I could be in full control of my destiny without reason and without worry everyday that this is the day I will go to jail. And, the most important reason i wish I was a woman would be that I would be able to see my children everyday. Well ANCPR have a good evening and fly right and try to think about banding together to acheive reform of the child custody laws. Just think what it would be like to have equal access to your children. CIVIL DISOBEDIENCE IS THE ONLY ANSWER IF THAT DOES NOT WORK THEN DUST OFF THE WEAPONS (IF ANY ARE LEFT) AND ARMED REVOLT.
FASTSCOTT
44 paula.blanchez // Jan 3, 2007 at 7:14 am
Thank you Kevin and Charles, I know we have to stay together on this. I also know that as much as we do do, the reality is that we can’t just stop paying child support aka extortion. If that was the case do you realize how many dads would be over populating our jails? I know that it is easy to say but the reality of all of this is that my husband can’t just stop paying child support, he works for the government and they would haunt him down just like he does fugitives. His “ex” fortunately was never his wife, they only lived together for 4 years and have one child. She recently took him to court for more money and she got away with it too. The judge didn’t even take into consideration the fact that we relocated from Texas to Washington D.C and fact of the matter is that it is very expensive here. We doubled what we paid back in Texas, but the system worked against my husband once again and she got more money. Money is really not the issue here, the issue is she does and works around what works and what is convinient for her. My husband’s family is in Texas and they hardly see my step-son. Everything is whenever and wherever she wants and THAT my friends is how it is. I hate to be bitter about all of this but let me ask you something what will it take for us to get custody of my step-son? I mean, if she keeps taking us back to court for more money, obviously she can’t support him!
Thanks again,
this is my email address: paula.blanco@dhs.gov
45 paula.blanchez // Jan 3, 2007 at 8:25 am
Dear Kevin and Charles,
I apologize if I sounded selfish, I am just very frustrated with the fact that dads who do pay what they are suppose to and do abide by the law, even if it is unfair, still get stepped on.
46 Jim Deeny // Jan 3, 2007 at 10:32 am
Lead by example, stop paying the legalized extortion.
It will never end until we stop paying it, never.
The resolution is to stop paying, refuse to pay, it’s that easy.
The hard part is to get rid of the fear of going to jail and losing what you’ve got. If you fear of losing what you’ve got, then your’e just as materialistic as the next feminist.
47 Kevin Merck // Jan 3, 2007 at 10:48 am
Paula:
The “law†seems to be one of your concerns. Nothing wrong with that, I think most of us want to be “law abiding†citizens. Is it the “law†that a father be deprived his “God Given Right†to an equal role in his child’s life? Is it the “law†to have a different set of rules for women to enjoy at the expense of men? Is it the “law†that allows the government to extort money from non-custodial parents, under the threat of incarceration, for a purported debt? Or, is this actually the absence of “law†that allows this to take place.
It was the “law†that Rosa Parks couldn’t sit at the front of the bus. It was the “law†that forced blacks to eat in separate restaurants, go to different schools, drink from different fountains and the list goes on. I suppose you think Rosa should have sat in the back of the bus just like all the other “good n—-rsâ€; shame on anyone who would hold that point of view. The sad truth of the matter is, that at that time, the vast majority of Americans did hold that view, just the same as the majority of Americans want to call “law abiding citizens†deadbeats today.
The threat of incarceration should not be a deterrent to justice; it should be a deterrent to crime. The only people breaking any “laws†as spelled out in our Constitution are the criminals orchestrating this injustice.
Your husband’s extortion payments are not going to support his child. They are going, in large part, to support his mother and the system that bamboozles taxpayers out of matching federal dollars for the collection of the extortion. That is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help us God.
Where would we all be today, if there weren’t people willing to risk it all for our freedom? The founders faced a hangman’s noose. Are we that afraid of the gulags, we affectionately call jails, that we are willing to throw away our children’s future? You know, that’s the one thing that should really tell people who is interested in the preservation of our way of life and who is just interested in self preservation, is to what extent a person will go to procure justice. Anyone can cower at the prospect of “jailâ€; it’s a good person that will do the right thing regardless.
Kevin Merck
“A generous parent would have said, ‘if there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace.”
Thomas Paine
48 paula.blanchez // Jan 3, 2007 at 10:59 am
Hello Jim, I know it is easy to say, “the resolution is to stop paying it, it’s that easy” . Well my friend, it’s not that easy. My husband would love to stop paying but reality is that he can’t just STOP, and lose everything he’s got. Which by the way is not a lot, as a matter of fact, we went from a 400 dollar mortgage payment to a 900 dollar RENT!, and you know what we still have to pay child support, if not more because she (my husband’s ex), thinks that living in the washington dc area means that you have a lot of money. There has got to be another way. I am not saying don’t pay money for your kids, but God Bless, give us the same custody rights. How about 6 months with the mother and 6 months with the father??
49 paula.blanchez // Jan 3, 2007 at 11:12 am
Mr. Kevin, I couldn’t agree with you more. Reality is though, harsh and tortious, it’s the law that is putting fathers like my husband on the loosing end.
>>It was the “law†that Rosa Parks couldn’t sit at the front of the bus. It was the “law†that forced blacks to eat in separate restaurants, go to different schools, drink from different fountains and the list goes on. I suppose you think Rosa should have sat in the back of the bus just like all the other “good n—-rsâ€;
> No my friend I hate to dissapoint you I am not that person you probably think I am, by stating that i must think that Rosa should have sat in the back of the bus.
All I am saying is that OUR situation, and I mean OUR as mine, yours, and others has got to be challenged in the higher courts.
50 Jim Deeny // Jan 3, 2007 at 11:29 am
Paula-
I understand, that’s why I said the vast majority. I know not everyone can stop paying the extortion because some of the people have begun new lives with creating another family. I don’t know how many single fathers pay, but I’m sure that if they would stop paying it would definitely make an impact, or the fathers that have new families where the wife can support a household on her income while the father can protest the legal extortion. As for your situation, why couldn’t you live like any other single mother? Why couldn’t you get a mock divorce and collect welfare or assistance? Live like that while your hubby protests? Really, why not?
Trying to write letters and go to higher courts is like shooting spitballs at the court system, they are stronger than you, me or Kevin because they instill fear into us, we can be stronger than them if we stop paying. We shouldn’t fear our government, they should fear the people.
51 paula.blanchez // Jan 3, 2007 at 12:37 pm
My friend Jim, I understand you completely. This is my story, my husband left his ex , live in girlfriend, common law, whatever you want to call her, in 2004. His son was only 2 years old, he could not stay by her side any longer. What killed him though was his son. Of course she took him to court and robbed him of his earnings. Long story short, every time we would pick up his son or i should say my step-son, a battle would start. Anyways, she had the police involved, she refused to answer his phone calls, the whole nine yards. Recently she took him to court AGAIN and got more money from him. Besides “child support” she sends him bills for medical insurance, that by the way my husband has for his son, and expects him to pay half of that on top of what he pays for the medical insurance. Now tell me how unfair is that? My husband loves his child but unfortunately the child’s mother is somehow killing that feeling for him. I am not saying my husband does not love his son, all i am saying is that the money issue, is and I can see why the number one cause of fathers leaving their kids, not by choice but by force. It is very unfortunate, but the fact of the matter is that both my husband and I work for the government and we eventually want more children. What will happen with MY family if he stops paying child support for his son. He will go to jail, and lose his job while at it. It is how they say ” You are damned if you do, and you are damned if you don’t”. So what now?? My friend we need sympathetic court systems and unfortunately, that is a tough road.
My best wishes for all of you dads suffering this unjust system.
52 Kevin Merck // Jan 3, 2007 at 12:53 pm
Paula:
First let me say that I think it’s great that you’re speaking out and that you’ve the courage to use your real name. I hope you keep it up.
I agree that this needs to be addressed in the nation’s highest court. Needless delay of justice is the same as denial of justice. How exactly do we get it to the Supreme Court if people continue to go along with the status quo? How will things ever change if we keep taking our seat at the back of the bus? We, as in “all of us†need to stop cooperating with this “domestic enemy†in whichever way possible. If your situation has become that intolerable, then please do something about it. Waiting for things to change of their own impetus is insanity.
I think it’s a bit unfair of you to take offense to my comment about the blatant racial discrimination in our past. You omitted the last part of the comment that put the blame squarely on the shoulders of the “majority of Americansâ€. The “I suppose†question was meant as rhetorical; only my way of trying to make a point. I wasn’t trying to imply that you’re a racist.
Take Care
Kevin Merck
53 Jim Deeny // Jan 3, 2007 at 2:11 pm
Thanks for being personable Paula-
The whole system isn’t fair, especially in family courts. Mothers can refuse visitation, hide the child from the dad, put the child in daycare and up the support and the next day pull the child out and pocket the money. Mothers can do pretty much whatever they want and there really isn’t any reprimands. On the other hand, if the father refuses to pay the pocketed contribution to daycare (whic