Glad to see Dear Amy sticking up for fathers. Unfortunately, what this father is experiencing happens everyday, in the entire western world. The political forces that are invested in the “mothers first” movement are simply too powerful for any progress to be made. All a father can do is to know his rights, hire a good lawyer, and spend lots of money making sure his child doesn’t grow up forgetting who he is, due to the perfidious behavior of a truly selfish, self-absorbed mommy.
By Amy Dickinson ,QMI Agency
DEAR AMY: My longtime fiancee and I split up three months ago. It was her choice to split. We have a 20-month-old baby, and we are having a major disagreement about “visitation.”
The fact that a parent has “visitation” at all should be a thing of the past.
I am a father who took parental leave for three months to help raise our baby, and I have been a very involved father since her birth.
My ex and I work shift work on opposite shifts. My ex would rather send our baby to day care than have me take care of her. The day care shift my ex wants for our daughter would be from late afternoon to 10:30 p.m.
What do you think of the prospect of a 20-month-old being in day care, versus being with a parent?
My ex thinks our baby won’t fit in at school if she doesn’t attend day care. I understand the importance of her social development but not between the hours of dinner, bath and bedtime.
I grew up in a split family where I only saw my father every other weekend, and I don’t want that for my child. I truly believe that setup is outdated and fathers should have more rights! What say you? — Frustrated Father
DEAR FATHER: I agree with you on every front.
It is in the best interest of the child to spend as much time as possible with both parents, when both parents are committed, loving and involved — as you obviously are.
Parental care is preferable to day care, especially given the scenario you present in which a toddler would be away from home during dinner, evening, bath and bedtime.
Your child’s pro-social development can be encouraged through playgroups with other parents and toddlers and, later, a nursery school.
Your ex is using this as an excuse to deny your parental rights — and it’s absurd. You need to mediate a common-sense solution — one that is firmly focused on the child’s needs.
You could achieve this working with a mediator if your ex were being reasonable, but you should see a lawyer all the same.
I agree with you that the assumption that the child belongs with the mother with paternal “visitation” is an outmoded model, and I think the courts are moving slowly to recognize this.
via Dad stands up for his parental rights | Life | Toronto Sun.