Comments on: States begin to boost child support payments (need more funding)

By: Ivette Attaud

Ivette Attaud — Thu, 16 Sep 2010 16:52:36 +0000

I have spent some time reading these posts, and I am not surprised. Although I do not live in Tennessee, I see and hear these horror stories all the time. As a 20+ year survivor of domestic violence and abuse, I support fairness and equality, including father’s rights.
I know someone who left his wife last year, and before he did, talked to her about child support for his daughter who just turned 11. He told her that based on his budget, he could afford to pay $500 per month. She told him she could take him to court and get more – and she did – approx. $1200 per month for 1 child! Needless to say, when he told the judge he was giving her money when he moved out, the judge told him to “consider it a gift”. With that being said, when a decision was made on the case, he started out about $2g in arrears. This is in New York. Since then, he lost his job and is collecting unemployment and CS comes out. How can someone live on $110 per week?

My sister lost custody of her daughter to her ex-husband when her daughter was 3. She was making payments then fell into arrears due to job loss, and 15 years later, my niece is in college and living with her. My sister is paying my niece’s college tuition. Her ex had the option of “forgiving” the arrears so my sister can use $23,000 to pay for her daughter’s education. Her ex decided that she “owed” him the $23,000 and chose not to forgive the debt! So now, my sister is still paying $600 a month “child” support for a child that now lives with her! My sister lives in Georgia, her ex lives in Virginia.

No one can tell me that the system put in place to “protect” children works! I find it appalling that the custodial parent is not made to account for how the money is spent on the child(ren). It’s just an end-run around spousal maintenance!

I host a radio show on Saturdays, at 11 am EST. I want to branch out and discuss father’s rights on my show in the next few weeks, and are looking for people willing to share their experiences. If you are interested in voicing your opinions on the show, please reach out to me at healingmylifemysoul@yahoo.com, and put “Discussion Forum – Father’s Rights” in the subject. I look forward to everyone’s response~

By: rissa

rissa — Tue, 14 Sep 2010 14:50:13 +0000

I agree with most of the posts here. I believe that the Child Support system is a scam to get people to pay for what the city, state, and government can’t afford to pay! They say they want to help the children but they constantly find ways to take from the children. This system is messed up!

By: JF

JF — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 17:10:50 +0000

I didn’t read all the posts, I became slightly angry @ a comment about women and child support. I am a woman who pays approx. $1000 a month in support for my children, which I have no problem paying child support, just the amount of $$$$ they make you pay, because they are my children also……….What I do have a HUGE problem with is the man who doesn’t want to be a man, who wants to live off his ex-wife and the government. Who CHOOSES to work maybe one or two days a month and call that a “JOB”. Instead of utilizing his degree, he chooses to sit at home, while I have to work. I have to watch any overtime that I may be able to get, because as soon as he finds out, I’m back in court for an INCREASE. How many times should the courts allow the custodial parent (male or female) to get more?? When there isn’t any more to be gotten. My children have a hard time understanding why Mom can’t always make Christmas and Birthday gifts they way they want, but the truth is, what Dad physically purchased I BOUGHT, and get no credit for it. So I’m put in the position of using “plastic” to cover special events and then working overtime to pay it back, then back to court again for another increase. ITS A NEVER ENDING CYCLE!!!!

By: remorhaz

remorhaz — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 02:37:01 +0000

I’ll eventually go to jail for child support as I left the U.S. rather than just walk into prison. When the passport expires I’ll be just another slave and it is time we called this what it really is: slavery. What is slavery? Slavery is the act of forcing another to perform labor under threat of imprisonment if they cannot. And with the arrears and penalities yes its a life sentence. Slaves in the antebellum south *were* treated better than fathers today. Think about that. According to law on the books the master was required to care for the slave, food, shelter, etc. The new slavery doesn’t even require this. Jews in Hitlers ghettos were taxed at 65% … what is the % of income allowed for fathers after taxes and child support? 15%?

Now the future of this is rather plain. Those little camps FEMA has been building can hold millions – the perfect answer to overcrowded prisons. Fathers will simply be rounded up and put to work for the state making furniture or mining, or doing whatever else will make the bueracrats rich. As its FOR THE CHILDREN! not one vote of protest will happen and what better answer to a flagging economy. 150 million slaves. Get used to it, this is the future for the “land of the free”.

By: s. f.

s. f. — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 05:11:39 +0000

Wow, Darius, way to keep it classy. Not all custodial moms are the witches you and others have made them out to be. My children’s dad was always allowed to our children and they would also spend the weekend with him – UNTIL – I found out he was doing drugs in front of them. That’s where I drew the line.

Because of heartless people like Darius, that’s all I’m willing to share. Just know, c.w., I know exactly what you’re going through.

By: Darius B.

Darius B. — Fri, 28 May 2010 19:26:15 +0000

Dear C.W. …Welcome to our pain….You are a rare one, 98.7% of all child support payments are made by men. Women are generally the receipiants.. There is a part of me that wants to say ” How’s it feel ” because your a women. KARMA is A BITCH. Then on the other hand well my heart goes out to you.If you wish to join our battle against the SO-Called Goverment well we can use you. Yes the majority of us will go to jail for our fight , but we need to save the generations after us. You mentioned you had a son… Well he is a victim before he even reaches adulthood. Since he is a man in the eyes of the court he is GUILTY…. Next. So join the fight for his sake and yours. We look foward to have you join us.

By: c.w.

c.w. — Fri, 28 May 2010 18:41:07 +0000

im willing to go to jail over child support.i cant afford 420 dollars a month . i cant afford to live on my own,or pay my bills. thhe custodial parent parties every week end and collects unemployment for the last year and a half. im either homeless or live with people for a while. child support takes 60% of my paycheck and i make7.50 an hour full time. i have a son in my custody but couldnt afford to take care of him so now he stays with his father.cant use legal aide because the custodal father uses them. why shouldnt the custodial father be made to work. it took 2 of us to make these children. i give up! just want to go to jail to get rid of the stress ive been under.

By: RR

RR — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 04:29:07 +0000

Well, where do I start. There seems to be a problem of understanding what is happening in your case. Probably the first place you should start is look up on the web, Tennessee Code Annotated. Find the statutes that are applicable to child support and divorce. Also check Tennessee Deaprtment of Human Services web site. There is a document,Chapter 1240-2-4, Rules of Tenn. Dept. of Human Services, Child support guidelines. These documents are written in legal-ease, but if you take your time and sift through the information, you can usually find some information that can help you. In your case it sounds as if you need to file with the court a motion for “Change of Circumstances.” Once this is done and a change of circumstances is proved, guess what, a new parenting plan will have to be produced or at the least the old one modified. A change of circinstance can be as little as a parent interefereing with visitation, or decrease of income. If you research a little on the web there is court forms available for this and many other pleadings if you want to try it yourself. Your attorney should have known to do this. It sounds as if the judge is trying to put your hubby into the catagory of being purposefully underemployed. In that case the judge can impute a income based on averages and what he should be making. The change of circumstances can be easily documented with either w2′s or 1040 tax return showing decrease of income. I do not know your attorney or what part of the state you are in, but I located a attorney by checking the web, and reading appeals that had been filed and won. There is a couple of things I am not so happy with her about, but then again there are some things she has done excellent on. Another thing, do not pay an attorney a lot of money up front. Pay them as they produce. When they have their money already, they are not to motivated as a general rule. I hope this information is of help, and good luck.

By: Been on both sides

Been on both sides — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 16:46:01 +0000

I’ve been on both sides, we’ve WILLING paid Child Support for 7 1/2 years and now are waiting to GET Child Support from the Non-Custodial mother who has ZERO legal rights to her child. We put in paperwork 4 days after we ‘won’ in court (in TN no less) and we live in a different state- so it has taken 3 MONTHS to get to the state so they can issue her the order to collect money off her TN TEACHERS (she teaches Middle School in Knoxville) Salary.

So, I’m ready to start collecting some of the good old TN money you all speak of- the ex kept the child away from us while my Husband did 2 Tours in Iraq, kept him away for Thanksgivings, Christmas, Summers, we bought 2 cell phones to speak to him, and even told him that we didn’t love him and didn’t want to see him anymore. I say NO AMOUNT of money can fix the harm she has done and she should pay for 100% of his therapy. Oh yeah- the 7 year old was in diapers when we finally got him and she put him in a school for the mentally retarded (his IQ is 114) but told the school that my husband was DEAD!

There are 2 sides to every story. We sent her check every month without fail VIA US POST certified mail. Spent over $30,000 in legal fees, and haven’t seen one red cent out of her.

By: medic_clay

medic_clay — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 18:05:52 +0000

When child support is ordered and paid, the state should require that the payee show proof to the payer that a certain percentage of that money is being spent directly on that child/children. I don’t mind some of the money going for everyday needs like food, clothing, and shelter, but my son shouldn’t be walking around in clothes with holes in them and hair that’s all gapped up because mom cut it at home herself. In the meantime, she’s going to the tanning salon and getting manicures. That’s not child support, it’s mom support.