Comments on: Banned dad agonizes at loss | Herald Sun

By: NoJustice

NoJustice — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 10:16:40 +0000

Hey Steve,
I truly understand how you feel. The alienation from your children, not seeing them grow up to experience their joys, sadness, pains, etc. is something you can never get back. I have lossed valuable time from my daughter that cannot be made up either. It just doesn’t seem at all fair for men the more I search for answers myself. It seems woman can cry wolf and the courts will submit to their every tear. “Bigpopa” is right about the about all accounts. Legal representatives have to put food on their table, so they thrive on your emotions to continue the battle, all the while they intend to milk you for every single expense they can imagine so as to drain the so called retainer fee, then add more charges after that is exhausted. As for judges, they claim to make sound judgements, but they actually call upon these so called mediators & guardians to evaluate for them. Their decision is based on these mediators & guardians, so that if something bad were to happen based on their judgement, they would state that their decision was based on the so called “trained/certified” mediator, guardian or evaluator. All in all, the bottom line is “greed”. Greed by the custodial parent part. Greed not to share their children, so that they control the highest percentage of custody. And with this high percentage of custody, their greed to enforce more child support against the non custodial parent. then there is greed by the attorneys. We all know how they work. The bottom line is the children are put through the ringer of courts and the custodial parents (woman) don’t even give a you know what. I could go on further, but just want to say, lets not all give up.

By: Alex

Alex — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 03:27:00 +0000

I have been searching the web for help. Well, doesn’t look like I found any help. But then again maybe I have. My son has just gone through the same thing you two men have. His son loves him and always had so much fun with him. His ex-wife has played this game for the past three years. Because of the fact he hasn’t got the money to keep fighting and seeing it was not going to do any good my son has given up. My heart is crushed. Not only did the ex distroy a beautiful father son relation ship she also tore him away from the rest of the family. I am the Grandmother and devistated. I was told to file for Grandparents rights. What a joke. If Dad couldn’t get him I don’t stand a chance.

So, I am going the route of trying to get some laws change. I have found some support.

I hear women say all the time what a terrible Dad, but I know the women.

Example: Woman came to my house. She had five children, two different Dad’s and married to even more than those. Not sure the count. I thought she brought her kids over to play with mine. About eight o’clock, (Friday night) she said she could go home now, she was hiding out from the youngest sons Dad. She now out on the road driving a truck while the youngest,(15) is home alone. I’m sure Dad doesn’t know that and what would the judge think. How would he like for his 15 year old to be living alone.

By: bigpopa5867

bigpopa5867 — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 00:58:52 +0000

A remarkable amount of similarities exists between my story and Steve’s. Three years of court dates and related accusations are among the list of likenesses. I was not allowed to have contact with my two girls for 6 months out of a year. In addition, only one of my daughters supposedly had a problem with their father (me). I was not allowed to visit the other child either. The court has not found the mother guilty of contempt or charged her with custodial interference.
The mothers always win unless they beat or harm the child enough to gain notoriety from an outside party (friend, teacher, doctor, etc . . .). What happens when a woman abandons a child and the father is left to raise the child? Does the child automatically turn to a life of crime or become a potential mass murderer in the absence of the mother? I think the answer depends on the type of parent the father is. Likewise, in a divorce situation, the mother plays a major role in burning bridges between good fathers and their children. The picture is very plain and a repetitive occurrence—believe me I know.
After that being said, the focus must be turned toward legal representatives. An initial fee of $3,000.00 and further expenses accruing resulting in frustration and stress are the major benefits from retaining legal counsel. Paying the sum of $3,000.00 to see my own children is ridiculous, especially when I pay $300.00 plus each week in child support. In my experiences, the lawyers collect the client’s money and then proceed to do as little as possible to help the client or child. Where is Perry Mason when we need him?
Next is the judge, who lays down the final decision. Do all judges possess degrees in child psychology? Are the judges aware of the countless number of mothers that use their offspring as a tool to hurt their former husband? Who was the genius that decided that a person that spends his educational career studying law—should also make judgments—relating to children concerning family relationships?
In some cases, a judge appoints a guardian at litem to look out for the child’s well fare as in my case. A 30-minute meeting and the guardian at litem was finished with me. The guardian then had an interview with the counselor that sees my daughter and I. Lastly the guardian interviewed the mother in order to make recommendations to the court. The results were supposed to be back in court after a 90-day evaluation period—six months later, we finally went to court.
After the evaluation from the guardian at litem had shown no negative or improper actions from me, the lawyers agreed (this means the lawyers do not have to make any further efforts) to the guardian’s findings. The findings were to leave everything as it is. This meant no punishment for the ex-wife and no awards in my favor. Therefore, my ex-wife can choose to keep the children from me at any time and I am helpless.
I am truly sorry for you, Steve, and I honestly know how you feel. The United States of America is not all it’s cracked up to be.
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