PBS’s negative picture of fathers – by Cathy Young
November 21, 2005
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Posted by ANCPR
PBS’s negative picture of fathers – The Boston Globe
CHILD CUSTODY battles are always wrenching, particularly when there are allegations of abuse. For years fathers’ rights groups have complained that men face a pervasive bias in family courts, while many feminists have countercharged that the real bias is against women. The latest round of this debate is being waged over a documentary, ”Breaking the Silence: Children’s Stories,” which has been airing on Public Broadcasting Service affiliates in the past month.
The film’s point is simple: Children in America are routinely ripped from their mothers and given to fathers who are batterers or molesters. The women’s claims of abuse are not believed by the courts and are even held against them when mothers are suspected of manufacturing false charges as a divorce strategy.
To fathers’ groups, ”Breaking the Silence” is blatant antidad propaganda. In a campaign led by the Boston-based Fathers and Families, PBS has been bombarded with thousands of calls and letters. It is now conducting a 30-day review of the research used in the film.
Film producer Dominique Lasseur told me he was shocked by the backlash. ”I have nothing against fathers,” says Lasseur, a father of two, ”but I have outrage about children being given to abusers.”
There is no question that our legal system fails children all too often. But the PBS documentary presents a skewed and sensationalist picture.
Thus, Joan Meier, a George Washington University law professor and one of the film’s main experts, asserts that ”75 percent of contested custody cases have a history of domestic violence” and that about two-thirds of fathers ”accused or adjudicated of battering” win sole or joint custody of their children.
The website of the film’s producers, Tatge/Lasseur productions, lists two sources for these claims: a study of 39 abused women involved in custody litigation in Massachusetts, and the 1990 report of the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court Gender Bias Study Committee which states that fathers who actively seek custody obtain primary or joint physical custody over 70 percent of the time.
But the 70 percent figure was not limited to domestic violence cases. It is also highly misleading, since it doesn’t separate custody disputes from cases in which the father gets custody by mutual consent. In contested custody cases, mothers are two to four times more likely to prevail.
”Breaking the Silence” seems to suggest that abusers who get custody of their children are virtually always male. In response to criticism, the filmmakers say on their site that since ”women are five to eight times more likely than men to be victimized by an intimate partner,” to feature one male victim of abuse alongside five women would have ”overstated the problems of men.”
The accuracy of their figures is questionable: the federally funded National Violence against Women Survey suggests that over a third of domestic violence victims are male. That aside, doesn’t featuring zero abusive mothers significantly understate that problem?
Lasseur told me that if he had encountered cases in which an abusive mother was awarded custody of the children, he would have reported on them. I asked about the claim on a battered men’s advocacy site that a man named Tom Gallen had approached him with exactly such a case. Lasseur conceded that Gallen had a well-documented story but explained that, relying on his ”instinct as a producer,” he felt that Gallen wouldn’t be the right person to use.
It’s difficult to assess the credibility of the stories actually used in the film, since their presentation is deliberately one-sided. (Lasseur told me that women’s allegations of abuse are often ”dismissed because it’s he said/she said,” and that he didn’t want to recreate that dynamic.) In at least one case, involving a 16-year-old identified as ”Amina,” there are serious questions about the film’s accuracy.
Official documents supplied by the girl’s father, Scott Loeliger, and posted at www.glennsacks.com, show that there were fairly serious child abuse allegations against ”Amina’s” mother. Moreover, the only spousal abuse mentioned in these documents is violence toward the father by the mother.
The documents also reveal a messy, complicated case in which most evaluators concluded that both parents were behaving ”abominably.” ”Breaking the Silence” simplifies this into a straightforward story of a villainous man and a noble, victimized woman, and does so in the service of a film whose overall effect is to vilify fathers.
The filmmakers contend that their only concern was the well-being of children. Yet, if the film contributes to a climate in which fathers who seek custody are tagged as suspected abusers, it could endanger children as well. PBS should rectify this bias by presenting programs with a different point of view.
Cathy Young is a contributing editor at Reason magazine. Her column appears regularly in the Globe.
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The “mothers” get the children. My Ex is mentally ill yet you would not know it since she could win an award for “Best Actress” when in front of anyone who could do something.
The result for me, over four years without my son who the “Mother” moved 3,000 miles away across an ocean “for the best interest of the child bullshit blessed by the court. Now there is no father in my sons life. He calls me by my first name. He is close to being 8 years old now and has NEVER in nearly 6 years been allowed to see me. Over $100,000.00 in ONE YEAR trying with an attorney through the courts to only get a SHARING plan, and I still have NOTHING, except maybe 1 minute (thats right) ONE MINUTE ONE TIME A WEEK TO SPEAK WITH HIM ON THE PHONE. The “Mother” controls the hang up button. The court does NOTHING except tells me to do “Co-parent counseling” twice a month at a cost to me of $400.00 a month since “Mom” claims she can’t afford it as her Irainian family shovels out 10,s of thousands of dollars to keep me away from my son. There is no history of ANY domestic violence or abuse by me. But “MOM” is allowed to abuse a small child mind and I am unable to do anything about it.
So PBS has it backwards. It’s over 90% of “Mothers” who do what they say men do. It’s a sick system. I Hate Every Bit Of This. So because of what I write here I will be falsely labled as that which the mother “IS”.
Spousal Abuse…???…It’s really “Child Abuse” by the Mother AND THE COURT.
Noble women?…What a sick JOKE! They are abusive bitches, doing the only cowardly thing they know how to do, collect money from men and deny access to the children to have a father in there lives, and NOT 3000 MILES away. The system supports this sickness. Take away your children for no legal reason and see how angry you’d be.
Randy
I hear you Randy. It is a sick, twisted, vicious, treacherous, criminal act perpetrated against fathers and children on a daily basis all across our country and in many parts of the world; all in the purported “best interests of the childrenâ€.
They want you to hire lawyers, pay for counseling, court costs, child support and then they turn around and hand the taxpayer a bill for the same things. If you weren’t angry Randy, I would doubt if you are human. More important than the anger is what we do to stop the insanity.
Do the right thing; find a way to stop giving these kidnapping, murdering, thieves your money. It’s all about the money. It’s just that simple.
Take care and God bless
Kevin
Yeah, do your “research” PBS…If you actually do any and have the guts to report it, you’ll find that it’s just the opposite. Don’t forget, PBS, to check with http://www.warshak.com for some real information about what really goes on/documented by real professionals. And while you’re at it, PBS or any of you anti men/father “humans” who may be reading this, don’t forget Glenn Sacks if you have the balls…
Both men and women engage in this sickness but it has been proven that women do it more. A Staggering MORE!
I have been remarried to a wonderful woman for over five years now. I never realised the sickness I lived with before. I am very happy to not be married to that monster any longer.
I divorced her, NOT “OUR” Child.
I would never think of doing the same poison dripping crap the “Mother” of “OUR” child engages in. I just want to share in our child’s life (not own him) and have him come stay with me during times of the year that he can.
I own my own home and live in Hawaii. The Mother stole our child to California and never returned.
I need not say anything bad about mom to our son. I have over 30 hours of happy family video to show him that would bore all of you to death. My son can see himself and I and mom during happy times. He can then figure out for himself that whatever poison has been fed him is true or not. Nothing NEGATIVE needs to be said. This is Not so with mom…
Yet “MOM” has 100% custody and I pay without ever having time to play with him, talk, and enjoy a “Healthy” father and son relationship. The worst part is my son is the one that loses. He being “TAKEN” 3000 miles away across the pacific ocean, (thats right, THREE THOUSAND MILES), makes it very difficult. If a “Mother” is a good sane person, I would think she would certainly want to encourage a loving relationship with the child’s father. I would paint only the positive about mom if it was the other way around. But Mom put up every wall she can think up to not allow it to EVER happen. The “Mother” tried moving to Penn. when I finally found out where she was hiding our child for a year and a half. (Yes, before all of this I didn’t know where they moved too or a phone number). This number has been disconnected…and Mom’s parents hang up on me when I call concerned as to where they are…What would you expect from master hostage takers, they being Iranian.
Finally got her into court with an attorney I hired to find her (NOT CHEAP) and she then tried to skip to Penn. ANOTHER 3000 miles away while the present hearings were underway. THE COURT DID NOTHING!!!
Check my addition, 3000 plus 3000 equals 6,000? This is a “Mother and a Court” who has the best interest of the child in mind…?
I’m sure anyone would wonder what “I” may have done…? The answer is nothing but get a divorce. No domestic violence, no child or spousal abuse, no conviction of any crime, NO PROOF IN COURT that gave her a Child to use as a weapon. These women know what they’re doing. In many cases this is the only way to hurt the father not to mention a free pay check known as “child support”. I’d be able to support my son in a way that is far greater than most children could ever hope for. I didn’t plan on supporting the Mother, attorneys, all the expensive travel and Not see my son. Now I’m being alienated from him at a faster pace since I have her in the light. You know what roaches do when you shine a light on them. “Mom” knew the textbook lies she and her attorney could dream up which gave her 100% across the board knowing what “Judges” bite on “WITHOUT ANY PROOF”!
My friends and people who knew her and I before, which I still know today understand the mental instability of this women and believe/view her to be a criminal. “She should be in prison”, are the words I heard. I certainly would have been a long time ago had I engaged in one of the lowest things a human can do to a child. Mental, emotional, Child abuse. It’s a crime!The “Court Mediator” (a Woman) wrote a scathing report about what the mother was doing after interviews of each of us in private that the Judge signed which exposed the abuse “Our” Child has been poisoned with about his own father, directly from “MOM”. The mediator interviewed Father Mother and Child apart. It blew my mind when I learned about what my son was being told. Yet The Court Does NOTHING! (Santa Cruz California)
I ask my son who told you these things? Mommy did, was his answer. The Court Did NOTHING?…, my friends ask in disbelief…
The court ordered “COUNSELing” for the Child which I pay for and which has now stopped. Mom derailed that process through stepped up alienation tactics. The Court STILL Does NOTHING, and this is where it is today.
I will be very old, my son older, or I’ll be broke before anything “may be done”. I’m not holding my breath. I am certainly not the only father going through this. It’s a very sick system deciding what is in the best interest of the child.
Go PBS. See Dad Run. See Dad Go Broke. How much will it take to break “Dad” before he goes away? It’s a sick game played by adults using children. Shame on you asshole parents out there who engage in such behavior. You need to be found out for what you really are and then spend some time in jail or mental hospital to think about it. The jails that are full of many people who did not have a father in their lives. I won’t tell the child you had to spend some time in jail. I would not want them to know. They’re only children. Parents are you listening…THEY’RE ONLY CHILDREN…leave them alone with your personal problems with your Ex. They need both parents. I’m a fit parent and for the life of me cannot figure out this nightmare.