Cuba flight by Dad and Kids foiled
Herald.com | 08/12/2005 | Dad’s Cuba flight foiled
A Miami Beach man remains at large after fleeing to Cuba with his three children. The children have been returned to their mother, and warrants have been issued for their father’s arrest.
BY CARA BUCKLEY
cbuckley@herald.com
Cuba is not the most obvious spot for a Miami man to seek sanctuary, especially a parent on the lam with his three kids. But by the time Mel Dressler disappeared from the United States three weeks ago, he felt his options had vanished too.
Dressler, a jack-of-all-trades, lives in a rambling Alton Road home in Miami Beach, 1,211 miles from Philadelphia, where his ex-wife and her husband live with the children, an 11-year-old boy and two girls, ages 13 and 9. Dressler, 44, says he’s worried about his children’s well being, but has been on the losing side of a protracted custody battle with his ex.
A rare, troubling mid-July visit from the children left Dressler heartsick at the prospect of sending them back home to Philadelphia. So, on July 22, he made the fateful, drastic decision to put his kids aboard his catamaran and sail 90 miles across the Florida Straits to America’s nearest forbidden land.
He didn’t tell his new wife, Elise d’Hauthuille, where he was going, and he didn’t tell his children. All they knew was that he and the youngsters were going on a nighttime sail, and that Dressler never turned back.
His eldest daughter, Dressler said, wrote the following entry in her journal: “Tricked into trip.”
INTERNATIONAL ISSUE
No one knows how many children are taken from the U.S. by one of their parents and secreted to other countries. At any time, the State Department is aware of more than 1,000 active cases, a number officials guess grossly under-represents the actual amount.
But barely a handful of known custody cases involve children taken to cuba.
Negotiating a child’s return from Cuba, however rare, requires a predictably delicate diplomatic dance for the United States. Still, according to Committee for Missing Children representative David Thelen, Cuba has been more helpful in international child custody cases since the return of Elián González in 2000.
But the Dressler case had an additional twist: Though Dressler is married to an American woman, he is Canadian, and so are his children. Dressler chose Cuba because he hoped — mistakenly, as it turned out — that their nationality would shield him.
Child welfare advocates generally frown on parental abduction of children, saying it’s highly traumatic to the youngsters and usually unnecessary, since family courts are designed to address any parent’s concerns. But Dressler maintains he has been treated unfairly by courts in Philadelphia and Miami, which have not sided with him in his push to wrest sole custody of the children from their mother.
He also believed that because Cuba was not party to the Hague Convention, which requests child custody recognition from its signers, he could air his grievances in some sort of world forum without having to return the children.
”My plans are merely to try to get this into an international court,” Dressler said shortly after reaching Cuba. “It was top of the list to protect my children.”
MOTHER DISTRAUGHT
Meanwhile, in Philadelphia, the children’s mother and stepfather, Monique and Richard Subbio, frantically tried to arrange for the children’s return. Richard Subbio, an advisor for U.S. Rep. Robert Brady, a Pennsylvania Democrat, said he contacted the FBI, the Department of State and the Canadian and Cuban governments.
”Frantic’s not the word,” said Richard Subbio. “My wife was a mess.”
On July 27, Foreign Affairs Canada, akin to the U.S. State Department, was told a Canadian father and his three children had disappeared from the U.S. Two days later, the Canadian embassy in Havana learned that three Canadian children had arrived in Cuba with their father and without travel documents.
Cloe Rodrigue, a spokeswoman for Foreign Affairs Canada, said her office then worked with Cuban authorities to ensure the children’s safety and swift return.
And so, last Friday, Canadian embassy workers, helped by Cuban officials, approached Dressler’s catamaran, docked in Puerto de Vita on the Cuban coast, and removed the children from his care. The youngsters were flown to Montreal, where Richard Subbio met them. Then all four returned to Philadelphia.
”They’re traumatized, but they’ll be all right,” Subbio said.
Dressler, meanwhile, has yet to return to the United States, where d’Hauthuille, his three stepchildren and his parents are anxiously awaiting his return.
He sailed to the Bahamas over the weekend, after being told he would be arrested in Cuba. He faces a bench warrant in Philadelphia, and the Miami-Dade State Attorney’s office charged him with child concealment, a third-degree felony that carries a maximum five-year sentence.
Richard Subbio said he intends to file his own charges, and vows that Dressler will never be alone with the children again.
But Dressler, who has plans to sail back within the week, insists the trip was worth it. At the very least, he says, he proved his devotion to his kids.
”No one can say I don’t love or care about them,” Dressler said.
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August 23, 2005
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Posted by ANCPR
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I did the same thing in that I did not return my son to his mother’s home where domestic violence was happening. My son was being abused and neglected to which I have soild documentation and credible evidence. She filed an Order for Protection against her live in boy friend who was beating her up and abusing my kids, also she has moved 7 times and been evicted in the past 2 years. She was homeless for 3 weeks. I tried desperately to present these facts and evidence but was denied by the courts.
SO! I HAVE BEEN CHARGED WITH CHILD ABDUCTION AND KID KNAPPING! THE D.A. WANTS MY HEAD ON A PLATTER! I AM SCARED AS HELL! NEVER AGAIN WILL I ATTEMPT TO BE A PART OF MY CHILDREN’S LIVES. I AM BROKEN AND BEAT DOWN. SHE IS USING MY KIDS CHILD SUPPORT TO HIRE ATTORNEYS TO KEEP ME FROM MY KIDS.
Because I am a responsible dad and pay the kid’s support I am left with no money to hire representation. I have been ProSe and am getting chewed up and spit out by slimey family law attorneys and judges. I hate what this judical sysytem has done to me and my kids. I am so sad. I defined who I was by trying to be the best dad. What is there to look forward to? She divorced me because she did not want to be married. She took my kids, takes my money. What is my life about? I am a slave to her. Someone please help my kids and me.
I dont feel as if paying money to the mother on the childrens behalf is being responsible. I say that because the courts took my kids away from me even though I was never found an unfit parent. My so called ex wife didnt want me to have shared custody of the kids. She wanted the kids all to herself.
I have chosen to go to jail rather than pay what amounts to extortion by the courts. Lets see if the courts put me in jail for the rest of my life because I refuse to pay that extortion. If the courts do, then I guess its “in the best interests of the children eh?
All I ask for is equal time with my children and not be listed as a “VISITOR” on the court papers.
I filed for equal time with my kids but everything my Ex asked for is what the judge granted.
So call me a loser or deadbeat dad if you will. I am doing what I feel is right. If I am wrong may the so called courts of our land find me guilty and throw me in jail for my beliefs. My belief that is each parent who only wants to be with the children for an equal amount of time be granted that time. And to not have that equal time stripped away from us by people who call themselves judges.
the previous comments – this crap is happening all over the states, Child support being used to pay attorneys to screw the non-custodial dad. In the end, the kids come back 20 years later and say “dad, why didn’t you do something.”
Time to get a gun and shoot a lawyer. That’s what somebody once told me. I wonder if it is true? Wouldn’t bother me one bit to read in the papers about a non-custodial parent killing a lawyer. Hero.
Women get custody over 90% of the time in a divorce; making the father a financial provider for and a visitor to his children; little more; yet over 90% of these fathers faithfully pay the support. Until this changes; there is not going to be any change in this practice.
This is where most of the money comes from to support these feminist causes. As long as men continue to cooperate with their own destruction, why on earth would these feminists have to change?
Instead of talking about all the ways men are victims of the feminist cause; we better start talking about ways to encourage men to stop financing their own destruction.
We need to find out who these men are and find out where they stand. If the majorities of these men are in favor of current policies and practices, or are unwilling to initiate change, then there is NO HOPE for change, unless we can convince them otherwise. Perhaps they don’t see it as their own destruction, and if that’s the case, we’re all just wasting our breath.
Without the popular support of the people who are supposedly the victims of this injustice, it would stand to reason that there will be no change. We can make a case on Constitutional grounds, but the lawyers are going to be on the side that is putting money in their pockets; go figure.
We have to find a way to make men’s rights prosper; that is exactly what the feminists did to further their cause. They have turned women’s rights into a very lucrative racket.
Sincerely,
Kevin Merck
Cpeyton:
I just wanted to say that I have a great deal of respect for the position you have taken with regard to your situation. Until men are willing to take the stand you have, without regard for personal sacrifice; things will not change. I love you brother, and if there is any way I can help, please feel free to contact me. I’m not in very good shape financially, because I also refuse to pay the extortion, but if you are in jail and need a few bucks, let me know and I’ll do what I can. Take care and good luck. God bless you. You will be in my prayers. xfacter99301@yahoo.com
Sincerely,
Kevin Merck
Kevin,
I want to thank you for your gracious offer of money and prayers on my
behalf. If I was a greedy man, I would take your money and forget about
your prayers. I am not a man like that. I am just a humble man who only
asks for equal time to be with my kids. Nothing more and nothing less.
So, even though I would “LOVE” to take your money, I have to say no. You
use the money that you (may) have set aside for me to help you in your
case or where ever there is a more worth cause. All I ask is that you
say a prayer for me. The Lord will take care of me in “his” way.
I wish there was more men out there like you and I who refused to pay
extortion to our ex wives. I would glady set up an account for my kids
to use as they see fit if I knew their mother would not get her hands on
it. I do not hate my Ex wife. I still love her very much, I wish she
would only see that not haveing a father in our childrens lives an equal
amount of time is detrimental to them. For the record, I only get my
kids for a total of 96 hours a month and a few weeks in the summer.
I will be in jail sometime in the next two months or less. I accept my
fate willingly. My God will take care of me
Once again, thank you for your offer of money and prayers. I will accept
all the prayers you choose to pray for me and hopefully more and more
fathers who have been wronged by the courts and the EX. will refuse to
pay to see their kids. They cant lock each and everyone of us up. We are
too many.
I will be the first to say, kill me (the govt.) if you must, but let me
be a father to my kids the way I should be. Dont keep me as a visitor to
them!!
Thank you,
Chuck Peyton
Kevin, Chuck. You guys are an inspiration and role model for us as NCP’s. We have a common thread in the area of outrage towards the ‘family’ courts. How do I stop
the extortion when it is taken before I even get it? I wish we could organize a national day of protest against this extortion racket. If you pay
the money personally, on this day you don’t pay. If it is garnished out of your check, then explain to your employer that as a way of protest
and ask for the day off. What do you think?
Wyatt, I quit my job and lived up in Canada for about a year with my GF. I came back home because my mother called and said I had a court date. I went to court and the asst. attorney asked me a total of three questions to which I basically said no to. She then said “OK, then I guess I am going to drop these charges and file more. I still dont know what the next round of charges are going to be for sure, but as I told Kevin, I willing accept my fate that our corrupt govt. officials think is in the best interest of the children!
I want to know how extorting money from the father, then giving him ONLY 96 hours a month to spend with his kids is considered “IN THE BEST INTEREST’S OF THE CHILDREN”!!
I am not saying I want you to quit your job, all I am saying is that is the way I have decided to do it, because if I dont have any money, the courts cant steal it from me, and make me PAY A POUNDAGE FEE TO THEM FOR TAKING IT FROM ME!!
You have to decide what is the best way for you to do it. That was/is the best way for me. I havent paid a dime to the courts since June of last year I believe. So yes, I am way behind on the so called CS. I also dont care if they throw me in jail. The first thing I will ask them is how is putting me in jail in the best interests of the kids? If I am in jail, I cant work, so the wife wont get any money and your CS Service wont get the poundage fee either! I know what the answer is going to be. But my answer is going to be the same no matter what they have to tell me. I will not work another day in my life as long as I do not have equal time with my kids. I will live on the streets, or live in jail. Either way, is perfectly acceptable to me. I am just one man in one stand against the powers that be. My stand may not make much of a difference for the rest of the men out there in similar situations as mine, but it will make a difference to me. My beliefs will not be compromised by my wife (ex) or by the court officials. They can kill my body, but they cant kill my mind or my beliefs.
I dont really think you taking one day off is going to really matter much to the courts. They will still get the same amount of CS taken out of your check as they normally would. You will receive that much less on your check for yourself.
I wish we could also organize a NATIONAL day of protest. I am not the one to do that though. I wouldnt know the first thing about how to go about it. Someone else would have to step up to the plate. I would do as much as I could to help in however I could though.
Any takers?
Wyatt, Chuck:
Chuck said it all. It’s a decision we must make according to our values. I paid the extortion (garnished) off and on for years never feeling good about it. I finally made up my mind not to pay about three years ago now. I have no regrets and the idea of paying is no longer an option for me. If we are ever to bring an end to this corruption we must all FIND A WAY to stop financing our own destruction. It is the one thing we can all do that requires no organization; just do it! Don’t wait for the next guy to take action; JUST DO IT!
Taking action to stop the corruption is by far the most important thing any of us can do and is truly in the “best interests of the childrenâ€. If you are not refusing to pay; you are part of the problem. I know this is not an easy thing to do; you may experience a lot of hardship. Ask yourself, are my kids worth it? Am I going to allow the courts and all their accomplices to profit from the exploitation of my own flesh and blood, or am I going to be man enough to take whatever action necessary to see that that doesn’t happen; the choice is yours.
J.F.K. may have said it best:
“A man does what he must – in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles dangers and pressures – and that is the basis of all human moralityâ€.
Chuck, you’re a good man. The world needs a lot more people like you. Take care and good luck. All those who are victims of this racket and especially those who have the courage not to pay are in my daily prayers; there are a lot more who refuse to pay than most think, and every one of them is a hero.
Kevin M. Merck
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